How to Get Rid of Annoying People

••• Illustration: Ashley Riot/Demand Media

There are two kinds of annoying people: he who is annoying but does not know he is annoying, and he who knows but does not care. The latter is the worst, of course, but annoying people, no matter which type, are tiring. Annoying people are not easy to get rid of, which is partly why they are so annoying. However, there are some actions you can take to get rid of those annoying people in your life.

Step 1

Determine if the annoying person cares that he is annoying. You should find this out because you should handle men or women who do not care that they are annoying differently from people who are oblivious to their own annoying qualities. Ask him if he realizes he is being annoying. Those who do not care will laugh or will just continue the annoying behavior. Those who do care will express unhappiness at the question.

Step 2

Ignore the annoying person. This works especially well for the type who is annoying just to get a reaction from others. If the annoying person does not get a reaction from you, eventually he will grow bored and find someone else to annoy. No one likes it when someone ignores him. Therefore, if you ignore an annoying person, you will get rid of him.

Step 3

Find out the annoying person's weaknesses or dislikes. You accomplish this by asking his coworkers or by observing the annoying person. For example, if flatulence disgusts him, make sure to pass gas (or pretend to) whenever he is near. If he hates the smell of popcorn or a certain kind of perfume, keep an open bag of popcorn on your desk, or wear the perfume he hates.

Step 4

Feign a contagious illness. No one, not even annoying people, want to be around someone who has a contagious disease. This will not work long-term but should deter the annoying person for at least a few days while you plan another course of action.

Step 5

Make yourself unattractive to him. This works best on the clingy annoying type who won’t take your hint to scram. Pick your nose, chew with your mouth open, scratch your butt, belch loudly, cough without covering your mouth and be generally rude and disgusting.

Step 6

Tell the annoying person to go away and leave you alone. If, after following the other steps, the annoying person is still bugging you, you will have to get very serious. Your tone should be firm so that he knows you are not joking. Have a witness present when you take this step, in case things get ugly. If the annoying person continues to bother you after this, he is not just annoying you, he is harassing you.

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