How to Overcome Loneliness in Marriage

If you think loneliness goes away once you get married, think again. The more involved you are with your spouse, and the more you communicate, the less likely you are to be lonely. If you talk to someone else more often about your relationship than you do with your spouse, it could be a sign of trouble.

Develop your own identity and get involved in activities that interest you, such as self-enrichment classes, yoga or social functions. Also, develop a network of friends and family to help support your marriage--a key in overcoming loneliness.

Get involved in causes important to you. In addition, enrich your life by learning something new to bring fresh insight and communication to your marriage.

Talk to your partner about how you're feeling and take time to hash out each other's feelings about any distance in the relationship. Communication is a key in overcoming loneliness in any marriage.

Set aside time each day to focus on communicating with your partner. Start with a small item that is of interest to them. A funny story from a colleague or the newspaper can be a great conversation starter. Keep the conversation light and easy, don't bring up problems or issues at first. Remember that the focus should be on increasing communication and feeling of closeness.

Share experiences. Go for a walk together, or join in for a favorite show or game of cards. Make your partner your primary focus of attention. Turn off all the cell phones and other distractions.

Spend time alone to think about what you are expecting from your partner. Are they aware of what you are looking for? Remember that we all grow and change over time. Perhaps your needs have changed. Discuss this with your partner. Sometimes we assume our partners know things that we haven't communicated to them.

Keep in mind that you can only change your situation. You can't make someone change their behaviors or attitudes about the relationship until they are ready.