How to Know When a Relationship is Over


0:00 hi I'm Beth Patterson psychotherapist

0:02 and grief counselor and we're going to

0:05 talk about how to know when relationship

0:07 is over it said it's a hard question and

0:10 you will have to be honest with yourself

0:13 one thing that could be helpful actually

0:15 is picking out a piece of paper and

0:17 writing out the pluses and minuses well

0:20 what do I gain by staying in this

0:22 relationship as opposed to what do I

0:25 lose by staying in this relationship and

0:28 really be honest with yourself about it

0:30 and you might surprise yourself you want

0:32 to actually find that there's things

0:34 about this person that you love that are

0:37 really beneficial to you and and you

0:39 decide to stay with them and to work on

0:41 the relationship sometimes people end

0:44 relationships too soon because

0:46 relationships are hard they bring out

0:49 the best and the worst than us they

0:50 bring out all of our vulnerabilities so

0:53 I think taking a good honest appraisal

0:55 will really help you see whether you

0:57 should stay in this relationship or not

0:58 if it's work you actually need to do on

1:01 yourself to stay in the relationship on

1:04 the other hand certainly if you're being

1:06 abused you probably should get out of

1:10 the relationship and get some

1:12 professional guidance along those lines

1:15 if need be because you know it's it's

1:20 not going to be helpful to you to be

1:22 abused that's for sure so if you are

1:24 being abused nine times out of ten I

1:26 would say yeah it's time to leave that

1:28 relationship and also see you know just

1:31 really take a really good honest look

1:33 are you getting more out of it or not

1:37 it's hard it's hard work to assess these

1:41 things and you really be doing a

1:43 self-assessment more than anything else

1:45 seeing what you are bringing to the

1:48 relationship as well as what the other

1:49 person is or is not bringing to the

1:51 relationship and writing it down is a

1:54 really really good way to evaluate that

1:58 and to be really honest so I hope that

2:00 advice has been helpful to you best of

2:03 luck moving forward