How to Deal With Your Teenage Daughter Dating a Boy You Hate

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Coping with the dating lives of teenagers can be a strain on any parent, but it can become even more difficult when you particularly dislike your teenager's boyfriend. Parents must walk a fine line when they dislike their teenager's choice in a mate, as too much objection can push your child away, while pretending to be overly supportive can help the relationship flourish. Thus, if you truly dislike your teenager's choice in a boyfriend, your best option may be to remain relatively neutral.

Step 1

Withhold any obviously disapproving behaviors or comments that would let your teenager know you are unhappy with her selection in boyfriends. This includes suggesting that your teen date someone else, telling her to wait until she is older to date, making negative comments about her boyfriend or deliberately avoiding your teenager's boyfriend and excluding him from family activities. Parents want to avoid the "Romeo and Juliet Effect," where their interference or disapproval can make their teen become even more committed to the relationship. To prevent this, avoid any overt disapproval of the relationship. Give your child the freedom to make her own decisions.

Step 2

Avoid approving behaviors or comments that would make your teenager believe you are overly supportive or happy about her relationship with this particular boyfriend. Relationships that receive social support and approval can thrive. Thus, if you do not want the relationship to continue, you'll want to avoid providing overt support and approval. However, it is important that you don't cross the line into overt disapproval. Be friendly when your teenager's boyfriend is around, inquire with your child as to how the relationship is progressing, but avoid bending over backwards to facilitate their relationship or to show signs of exuberant approval.

Step 3

Give your teenager freedom to have her own experiences and make her own decisions. Dating during the teenage and young adult years is an important process of learning how to be in an intimate relationship with another person. More often than not, dating experiences during this time will help your teenager make better decisions in the future and learn about the qualities and traits that she values in a partner and the ones she finds to be problematic. By remaining neutral, you will give your child the best chance of making these decisions on her own, free from your influence.

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