Dealing with a stubborn husband can be a frustrating burden. The lines of communication can be severed due to his obstinance and your reticence to deal with him because of it. It can be easier sometimes to avoid communication rather than start a conversation that inevitably ends up in an argument. However, it is important for your health and sanity to not always acquiesce to his stubbornness. To successfully reopen the lines of communication, follow these steps.
Decide how important the issue you are discussing is to you. Not all issues are equal. How you proceed for the rest of the conversation will be determined by what level of importance you give to the topic.
Listen to what he has to say without prejudging it. Don’t interpret what he is saying based on past arguments, just listen. It is important for him to feel that his ideas are being heard and acknowledged.
Ask questions. If there is any part of what he said that you don’t understand or are not clear on, ask him to clarify it. Asking questions and giving him a chance to more fully express his opinion increases his sense that you are listening to him and taking his point of view seriously.
Calmly and thoroughly explain your point of view or position on the issue. Don’t assume knowledge on his part; explain everything. It is important that you insist that he listen to you and give you the respect you gave him when he was speaking. Stubborn people often don’t listen to others, so you must insist on this point.
Ask if he understands your perspective. It is just as important for him to understand your point of view as it is for you to understand his point. If he needs further clarification, try to give it to him in terms he will understand. Use metaphors or analogies from his interests or hobbies to better illustrate your viewpoint.
Decide what you are willing to sacrifice to get your way on this issue. If the issue is unimportant to you, then you can let your husband decide. If the issue is vital to you, then you must be willing to take a stand. You may be able to bargain other issues away to get your way on this issue. You can let your husband decide on another issue while you get to choose on this one.
- Try to be as nonconfrontational as possible. You will need both patience and perseverance.
Om Paramapoonya holds a Master of Arts in creative writing from California State University, Sacramento. She has been an online writer since 2008. Healthy cooking is her expertise, but she also writes on other topics including fashion, travel, home decor and personal finance.
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