Some men are not able to be emotionally present in a relationship. It may be an inborn part of their personality, or it could be a product of their life experiences, according to clinical psychologist Suzanne Lachmann. Communicating with a man who has an analytical mind can be challenging for people who are more emotional. However, if you know how to deal with this personality type, you will be much more successful in dealing with a male who exhibits this behavior.
Understand His Behaviors
Men with an analytical personality look for facts and details and also intensely question people and information, notes corporate trainer Eric Laramée. People with other personality types commonly describe them as quiet, logical and reserved. Analytical people typically feel no need to communicate with others unless there is a clear purpose. Therefore, approach a conversation with him by offering information instead of feelings. For example, instead of saying, "You make me crazy and worried when you are late and don't call me," try "When you don't call me, I think you were in a car accident and think I should start calling the police or local hospitals." The latter one contains logical reasons about why his behavior bothers you. He will relate to that communication approach much better than the first example.
Be More Direct With Your Language
Analytical men are much more direct when they speak compared to people who are more emotional, states gender researcher Julia Wood, author of "Gendered Lives." Part of being analytical involves gathering accurate information. When a woman says something such as, "You never listen to me," this does not give an analytical man much information. Instead, saying something such as, "Honey, when I speak to you, please look at me and respond so I know that you hear me." Giving an analytical man specific information or directions like this helps the relationship flourish.
Speak About Tasks and Goals
Analytical men talk about different things than people with different personality types, asserts Wood. One of the keys to communicating effectively with him is to know that he speaks about tasks instead of people or feelings. For example, women tend to be more emotional, and so they talk about relationships, people and emotions. Analytical men, on the other hand, do not have much interest in discussing such topics. They prefer to talk about work, projects, sports strategies or how to accomplish something. Therefore, if you want to engage him in a conversation, begin with, "What is the status of your project at work?" or "What do you think you need to do to get that promotion you have been working toward?" The analytical male will know how to respond to these questions and thus will be able to carry on a longer conversation.
Understand His Goal-Oriented Listening Style
Men and women have very different listening goals, suggests Deborah Tannen, author of "You Just Don't Understand." People with feminine behaviors use listening as a relationship tool; they use it to connect with a person. People with masculine behaviors, on the other hand, listen for information and to solve a problem. For example, if a woman comes home from work and wants to talk about her day, the analytical man may start trying to fix her problems to be helpful. This can frustrate an emotional person. Therefore, to get an analytical male to listen to you without offering advice, simply say something such as, "Thank you for your opinions, I really appreciate it. But would you mind if I just vented about this situation? I don't feel the need to solve the problem right now."
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- Psychology Today: Men in Relationships: 5 Simple Categories
- Agile Partnership: Agile Coaching – Working With the 4 Social Styles
- Gendered Lives: Communication, Gender and Culture; Julia Wood
- You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation; Deborah Tannen
Dr. Carol Morgan holds a PhD in Communication, a Master of Arts in media criticism, and a Bachelor of Science in advertising. Dr. Morgan is a professor at Wright State University and is a regular motivational expert on the TV show, "Living Dayton." She is also the author of the book, "Radical Relationship Resource: A Guide for Repairing, Letting Go, or Moving On," a frequent keynote speaker, and the monthly co-host of "Dick Sutphen’s Metaphysical World" radio show.