Boys will be boys, as the saying goes, but if your boyfriend continually crosses the line, it may be time to encourage him to grow up. It's inevitable that over the course of your relationship, you'll irritate each other once in a while. The difference between a healthy and an unhealthy relationship is if both parties are able to respectfully communicate their feelings and work toward positive, mutually beneficial changes.
Step 1
Address behaviors that bother you as soon as they happen. The longer you keep your feelings inside, the more likely they are to transform from annoyance into resentment and anger. Address them in a playful way at first, recommends Help Guide.org. If he doesn't get it, change your tone to one that shows him you're serious.
Step 2
Be specific when you address your concerns. Avoid using statements like "you're annoying," and instead say "I feel annoyed when you interrupt me in the middle of a sentence." It may just be that your boyfriend doesn't realize he's doing something you don't like.
Step 3
Create boundaries and expectations that clearly outline how you want to be treated. Part of being in a healthy relationship is respecting the boundaries each partner sets. Let him know in a calm and respectful way when he approaches a boundary.
Step 4
Work out a reasonable compromise. For example, if you're annoyed because your boyfriend's video game marathon made you miss your favorite show, work out a schedule so you agree on who gets to use the TV. If you can't agree, buy a second TV for an office or bedroom so no one has to miss out.
Step 5
Think about what you're asking him to change. Annoying behaviors and habits are one thing, but you should never ask someone to change the core parts of their personality to please you.
Step 6
Re-evaluate your relationship. If your boyfriend continues to disrespect your boundaries, violate your compromise agreements and ignore your feelings, he may not be "the one." State your reasons honestly and directly, but keep things civil, recommends Planned Parenthood.
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References
Writer Bio
A Jill-of-all-trades, Lillian Downey is a certified Responsible Sexuality Educator, certified clinical phlebotomist and a certified non-profit administrator. She's also written extensively on gardening and cooking. She also authors blogs on nail art blog and women's self esteem.
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