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What Are the Causes of Friction Between Couples?

by David Stewart

People enter into a relationship to be happy. You want some special person to share your joys and sorrows with. So, how come many people end up feeling they were happier when they were single? There are many reasons, which on the surface seem ridiculous, but contribute to most of the misunderstandings between couples. And most of the times, couples are not even aware of these causes of friction. It helps to identify these reasons so that you can resolve them before they embitter your relationship.

Intolerance to Each Other's Habits

This may seem a simplistic issue on the surface, but it is one of the most common reasons for discord between couples. Smoking, drinking or leaving shoe brushes on the sofa or a lack of general cleanliness in one partner can be annoying and frustrating, leading to disputes. Sit with your partner and explain how his bad habits irritate you before these issues become a major fight.

Conflicts Over Sharing Domestic Responsibilities

"Why is it that I always end up doing the dishes and paying the bills? You never do your share of household work." Sounds familiar? It's another seemingly innocuous issue, but a major reason for problems between couples. Plan how to share the chores and take responsibility for your side of contribution without skirting it. And, if you are unable to stick to your responsibility due to sudden work schedules or other reasons, explain them to your partner.

Unwillingness to Make Compromises

It takes effort from both partners to make a relationship work. Effort translates into compromising for your partner. If you are a shopaholic but your partner's finances are insufficient to meet your demands, you need to change your shopping behavior. Similarly, it wouldn't help the relationship if you are always busy with your work and refuse to take some time to spend with her. Incompatible personalities also lead to clashes. A freedom-loving partner would find you unbearable if you are a control-obsessive mate. It is crucial to take time to understand each other's personalities and make allowances for deficiencies if you want to build the relationship.

Physical Intimacy

Physical intimacy is a vital component of a relationship. It is important to understand each other's preferences and be sensitive to your partner's needs during intimate times. If past disappointments or feelings of inadequacy are preventing you from making a deeper commitment, open up to your partner about such feelings. Consult a counselor if you think it would help improve your situation.