Perfect relationships only happen in books. In real life, infidelity can cast its ugly shadow on even the strongest of relationships. If you suspect your spouse or partner of cheating on you, it is important that you confront him or her and discuss the issue. Whether you plan to end the relationship or you'd like to work through it and stay together, you must first get a guilty party to admit to the infidelity in order to proceed.
Confront your partner at the right time. Avoid throwing accusations at your partner when he first gets home from work, when she returns from the grocery store with her arms full of bags or after a long day taking care of the children. Select a time when you can sit down together and spend some time alone to talk about this issue.
Define what you consider to be cheating. Realize that your partner may have a different understanding of unfaithfulness. While this may seem like an excuse for poor behavior, clarify what you believe to be unfaithful behavior. For example, some people consider looking at pornography to be cheating, while others believe that only sexual contact, is infidelity.
Demonstrate understanding and patience when you confront your partner. Avoid shouting or making random accusations. Instead focus on how you feel and what you suspect may be going on. Instead of saying, "I know you're in love with Mike," instead say, "Because of your recent behavior, I feel like you may have developed feelings for Mike."
Offer your partner a chance to explain without interruption. If your boyfriend says he was unfaithful because he felt unloved, don't immediately insist that you love him. Instead, let him finish speaking and honestly listen to his explanation before you defend yourself. Realize that your partner may have a very different understanding or alternate perspective of your relationship than you do. Allow your partner to express herself before you reply. When you do speak, take a few deep breaths and try to stay calm.
Discuss what to do about the relationship. Tell your partner if you want to end the relationship or if you want to continue together. Perhaps you want to work on the relationship but feel you should pursue counseling together. This may be especially helpful if you have children or have been together for a significant amount of time. Remember that you can pursue couple's counseling even if you plan to end the relationship. Counseling offers you a third party's unbiased perspective of the situation.
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