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How to Break Up With Someone Who Is Smothering You

by Candice Coleman, studioD

While spending time together can be grand, it can also prove suffocating when your partner leaves you no time alone. Feeling smothered by a significant other can lead you to think it is time to split. Though you may be thrilled to no longer be smothered, there are strategies to handle the breakup considerately.

Thinking It Over

Practice makes perfect -- so spend plenty of time rehearsing what you plan to say, and consider how serious you are about ending things with your partner. If you are uncertain, you may be prone to backing down during the breakup -- which can lead to more confusion later on, according to Match.com. Spending less time together, taking a break, or explaining that you feel smothered to your partner may be better solutions for your situation. Attending counseling together may also help you get to the bottom of your partner's behavior.

Making the Break

Schedule some time alone with your partner when you discuss breaking up. Though it is wise to be honest about why you are ending the relationship, you should avoid being harsh or blaming the breakup on your partner, according to eHarmony.com. You can expect a wide range of reactions after delivering the news, from anger to relief. Be prepared to deal with each, and stay clear about your intentions. Offering to stay friends after the split or appearing uncertain about the finality of the breakup can give him mixed signals.

What to Avoid

You should avoid breaking up by email or text if you hope to keep things amicable, according to KidsHealth.org. Simply avoiding your partner and not returning phone calls also isn't the best way to leave your relationship. Though you may be looking for help before you break up, talking to others about your intentions may lead to your partner learning of the breakup from someone else first. While breaking up with your partner can be painful, doing something to motivate your partner to break up with you instead should also be avoided, according to Match.com.


The relationship is over, even if you are upset about your partner's treatment -- but seeking revenge is not the way to go, according to eHarmony. When it comes to spending time with friends you share with your former partner, be kind in choosing your words. You never know what might get back to your partner or how your words might reflect on you.

About the Author

Candice Coleman worked in the public school system as a middle school and high school substitute teacher. In addition to teaching, she is also a tutor for high school and college students.

Photo Credits

  • Michael Blann/Digital Vision/Getty Images