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How Do I Get Over the Pain of Being Abandoned by My Husband?

by Candice Coleman

Maybe your husband's departure came suddenly and without notice, or it was the result of long-time trouble between the two of you. Losing your husband may leave you feeling anxious, depressed and angry, which are all normal emotions in the wake of a breakup. While time can prove the greatest healer for your hurt, there are several other ways to help you move forward from the pain of losing your husband.

Taking Care of Yourself

After your husband leaves, you may start neglecting daily self-care. Now is the time to make a conscious effort to take care of your health. Eating nutritious meals, enjoying regular exercise and getting plenty of sleep can help you cope during this trying time, according to clinical psychologist Mark Dombeck and Kathryn Patricelli in the AMHC article "Emotional Coping and Divorce." Spending time with your grief is also important. Holding onto the belief that your husband will come back or that he has not actually left can be destructive to the healing process.

Family, Friends and Introspection

A breakup or divorce is an opportunity to get involved with family and friends again. Surrounding yourself with healthy, positive and supportive people can help you cope with losing your husband, according to Preston Ni, in the Psychology Today article "The Break-Up Cure: 7 Ways to Heal and Find Happiness Again." Spending time with a pet can also help you move forward. If you are alone, writing out your thoughts and feelings can also bring relief.

Hobbies and Work

Outside interests can go by the wayside when you get married. Picking up old hobbies and interests, like learning how to play the guitar or speak a foreign language, can be helpful after losing your husband, according to the Help Guide article "Coping With a Breakup or Divorce." Joining a sports team, volunteering at a school or reading to nursing home residents can also fill the time and keep you busy. A routine is also important when healing from a breakup. Getting back into your daily work schedule, running errands and doing housework can provide a sense of normalcy.

Solutions to Avoid

While there are several ways to heal the pain of being abandoned by your husband, there are also several methods that should be avoided. Immediately getting into a new relationship to cope with your pain can be unfair to you and your new partner, according to Dombeck and Patricelli. Getting revenge, using drugs or alcohol to cope with pain, or making large decisions should also be avoided. If avoiding self-destructive behavior is a struggle after your breakup, consider seeing a therapist or counselor for help.

About the Author

Candice Coleman worked in the public school system as a middle school and high school substitute teacher. In addition to teaching, she is also a tutor for high school and college students.

Photo Credits

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