our everyday life

How to Recover and Heal in a Marriage After Cheating

by Rebecca Nardis

You took the plunge and headed in to wedded bliss, only to find out that your spouse has cheated. No matter how many years you have spent together, it's a jarring reality. After the initial shock has worn off, the question becomes "How can I recover from this and stay in this marriage?" Many think that after infidelity is discovered in a marriage, the marriage will inevitably end. However, it is possible to recover from infidelity and remain in the marriage.

Talk with your spouse about the cheating.

Engage your spouse in communication about the cheating. You may need a period of space to get your thoughts together, but at some point you need to have a direct and candid discussion with your spouse.

Talk with those you trust.

Talk with family and friends whom you know will not share your intimate details with anyone else. Often times, sharing what you've learned about your spouse's infidelity with others helps in the recovery process.

See a specialized counselor.

Engage yourself in counseling with a professional. Look in your area for counselors who specialize in marriage, infidelity and relationships. Ask those you trust for counselor referrals; you may be surprised to find out how many people around you have confronted cheating.

Allow yourself to pass through many emotional steps.

Go through all of the emotional steps you feel are necessary in order to pass through the difficult time. There's no set time for how long it should take you to get over something as shocking as cheating. Take your time during this process.

Commit yourself to the marriage and work through the difficult time.

Commit yourself to working through the marriage. Explain to your spouse how you are feeling and that it will take time to work through all of your feelings. Patience is a must.

About the Author

Rebecca Nardis began writing professionally in 2006. She is an instructor and instructional designer and has taught communication and composition at the college level. She has written on subjects ranging from conflict resolution to automotive systems. Nardis holds a Bachelor of Arts in English from the University of Detroit Mercy and a Master of Arts in English and instructional design from Wayne State University.

Photo Credits