How to Settle a Conflict with Your Siblings when Managing Your Parents' Estate

by Contributor

Losing your parents is difficult, but fighting over the estate can make this time period of your life even harder. Conflicts with siblings when managing parents' estate is common but can be destructive, so you should take steps to resolve the conflict as quickly as possible.

Discuss all parts of the inheritance with your siblings. Secrets are hurtful and show that you do not trust one another.

Hire a financial professional to moderate the inheritance.

Determine the specific problems causing the conflicts.

Keep an open dialogue, even when you are angry. The silent treatment won't solve anything.

Try not to take sides against one of your siblings.

Hold an estate sale instead of trying to decide who gets what item. If you or a sibling wants a specific chair or lamp, it can be bought at the sale. The money from the sale can then be evenly distributed between all siblings.

Make sure that the wishes of your parents are followed completely, even if you do not agree.

Hire a lawyer as a last resort.

Let old grudges die. Move on with your relationships with your siblings into happier times.

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Items you will need

  • Financial advisor
  • Lawyer
  • Inheritance


  • Wait a week or so after the funeral to read the will if possible so that people will be thinking more clearly and less emotionally.


  • Keep children out of the arguments.
  • Never get into a physical or verbally abusive fight. If you find yourself in that situation, seek help immediately.

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