After a divorce there are many reasons why you may experience anger. Along with anger you may feel an array of emotions such as sadness, disappointment, pain, grief, just to name a few. It is completely natural to go through different emotions as your life is changing and you may be frightened. You may be angry at your failed marriage or action taken from your ex spouse. No matter why you are experiencing anger it is essential to deal with it straight forward.
Here are some useful tips to help you deal with the anger you are feeling....
- DETERMINE THE ROOT OF YOUR ANGER *
Realizing why you are angry and where it stems from is important to resolve the issue. There may be many reasons why you are angry and you really need to figure out why. If it was actions taken from your ex spouse then maybe you can tell them to get it off your chest.
- HAVE A SUPPORT SYSTEM *
Surround yourself with family and friends who are there emotionally for you. Having someone to talk to through the process you are going though is vital for anyone. We all need to know we have people around us that care about us and are there for us. When you need someone to talk to make sure it is someone you trust and rely on. Do not talk to your children and expect them to be your counselor, they are going through their own grieving process. You want to stay as positive as you can with your children and never say bad things about your ex no matter how bad you are hurting. If you do not have anyone to talk to join a support group in your area. That is a great way to talk to people that are going through the same things that you are at the time
- FEEL YOUR EMOTIONS *
Do not suppress the emotions that you are feeling. You need to let them out and allow yourself to grieve. If you are worried about how others will react wait until you are alone and allow yourself to have a good cry to release your emotions. Write down your feelings in a journal to help yourself be able to express yourself. Even simply writing is a great activity to let your feelings out. Don't worry about what others think, you are going through a hard time and you need to release your emotions. You want to make sure your anger does not turn into rage, so let go of the emotions you are feeling as soon as you can. Suppressing them can also turn your emotions inward resulting in depression.
- TAKE TIME OFF *
The stress of the whole divorce situation is a hard one to go through, so it is vital that you spend some time in ways that you do not have to think about it. Go out with friends or family to get your mind off the divorce or even simply go to the gym. Giving yourself some time to realize that the divorce is not the only thing happening in your life is the best thing you can do for yourself. Make it important to pamper yourself and do something great from time to time. It will make you feel better about yourself and give you time to relax.
- IF YOUR ANGER IS EXCESSIVE, GET HELP *
Everyone has a different level of anger inside of them and if you are feeling extremely angry after trying the above steps, then it may be time to go to anger management classes. Anger management classes help you to deal with your anger both emotionally and physiologically. Learning to control your anger can be great for people who have problems releasing it or handling it.
Just know that you are not alone with your anger. Many people just like you get very angry during and after their divorce. Talking to people that are going through similar situations as yourself can be a great way to vent and get their input to help you. You can find a local support group in your area or even talk to people online is a chat room for divorce.
Whatever you do make sure that if children are involved you do not take your anger out on your children. They are going through their own emotions and need your support and love. It may be hard to separate your anger that you have for one person to the next, but it is crucial that you are kind to your children during this stage in their life. They did not ask for this and it is hard for them to handle. You may even want to get them counseling as well if they are angry or feeling extremely sad.
Divorce is a sad statistic, there is a 50/50 chance for every marriage. It takes a lot of work to be married and to divorce, allow yourself to feel the way you do. Allowing emotions to come out is better then suppressing them only to have them come back at a later date. Deal with your anger and other emotions to help yourself heal.
- Don't ever blame yourself entirely.