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How to Handle Someone Who Is Flirting With Your Boyfriend

by Nicole Schmoll

Some men and women seem to only want a partner who is already taken by someone else. If someone is flirting with your boyfriend, the first thing that you need to do is let her know that he's taken. If this doesn't stop her advances, you may have to up your game. Be reasonable with your tactics, and aim always for the high road: if you play it right, the interloper will be shown for what she really is without harm to you relationship. There are more constructive and responsible ways to deal with with unwanted flirting than ending the relationship or threatening the flirt with a backyard beat down.

Focus on your relationship. Sometimes the best way to handle a flirt is to do a little flirting of your own with your man. Show your boyfriend that you are attracted to him both in how you dress and how you act. Rekindling your romantic attraction to each other may distract him from the other woman trying to take his attention away from you.

Tell your boyfriend that you love him. Compliment him on his looks, personality and character strengths that attracted you to him in the first place. Avoid nagging your boyfriend or focusing your thoughts on what he's not doing. Focus instead on doing nice things for your boyfriend like cooking or baking for him, cheering him on at sporting events or taking an interest in the hobbies and activities that he enjoys. In other words, be present, and remind him of how great he has it with you.

Direct a little attention in the other woman's direction. Avoid overt aggression towards her, but do look for opportunities to join conversations you see her having with your boyfriend. Take an interest in her and talk to both her and your boyfriend. This establishes you as a cool, confident girlfriend who is not easily threatened. Your smooth actions will remind your boyfriend why he chose to be with you while neutralizing the effects of the flirting at the same time.


  • Do not to berate your boyfriend for allowing the other girl's flirting. He may not be able to help it, and revealing your insecurities may make you seem jealous or overly clingy. If you feel that your boyfriend is responding more than he should to the flirting, address the problem in a constructive way to avoid conflict or misunderstanding.

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