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How to Be a More Confident Boyfriend

by Lark Brooklyn

A confident woman wants a confident man. There is nothing more attractive than a self-assured man who is secure in his identity and his place in the world and treats his girlfriend right. A confident boyfriend does not worry about his girlfriend or the status of his relationship. A confident boyfriend rests easy knowing that his needs and those of his partner are taken care of.

You cannot be a confident boyfriend if you are not a confident man. If confidence doesn't come naturally to you, fake it until you make it. Straighten your posture, become more assertive, work at getting a promotion at work, groom yourself, invest in some self-help books and a few seminars on building confidence.

Promote trust. Check your paranoia at the door. If you are dating someone and you deem rifling through her things and snooping through her phone and email as necessary, you are dating the wrong person. If she has given you no reason to be suspicious, turn that investigation inward. Analyze what devious deeds you are committing that makes you believe she is doing the same thing.

Don't compare your relationship. Your relationship will never be like the relationships of your parents or your friends. You are completely different people with a completely different set of wants and needs. Turn your reflection inside the relationship. Are you fulfilling each other's needs? If not, discuss and adjust.

Learn to say no. Stand up for yourself. Don't allow your girlfriend to steamroll you. Don't give in to her every whim. Compromise is key. Sometimes, you need to get your way -- especially if her request is outrageous or ridiculous.

Have your own life. Your entire identity should not be wrapped up in your girlfriend. Spend time with your friends. This will make the time you do spend together all the more meaningful and enjoyable. Let your relationship breathe.

Work out. If your lack of confidence stems from a discrepancy in body types between you and your girlfriend, this can be remedied by a standing appointment at the gym. Nothing boosts confidence like a vanishing beer belly and attractive women paying you compliments.

Shop. Don't underestimate the power of looking good. If your girlfriend looks like she just walked out of Saks and you look like you should be hocking wares in Sport Chalet, you need to step up your game. Looking good makes you feel good and promotes confidence.

About the Author

Lark Brooklyn has been writing since 1996. She has written articles for “Kill the Mic," "This is Real Music" and “Music Fashion Magazine.” Brooklyn is a Follett Fellow, a Rosebud and Weisman recipient and a Hollywood Shorts Emerging Filmmaker. She holds a B.L.S. in creative writing from Southern Illinois University and a M.F.A. in film from Columbia College Chicago.

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