our everyday life

How to Cope With Someone Leaving

by DoanPhuong Nguyen

It's always heartbreaking when someone you love leaves. Whether this person is leaving by choice, such as a breakup, or due to job responsibilities, as in the case of a solider going off to war, you are still left to deal with a broken heart. There are a number of ways for you to cope when someone close to you leaves.

How to Cope with Someone Leaving

Accept that there is nothing you can do about your situation. In the case of a broken relationship, you must accept that you cannot control the other person. It doesn't matter how beautiful, smart, or "good" a person you are, your ex-partner has his reasons for leaving. You must accept this and let go. Hanging on to the past will only make it more emotionally difficult for you. If the other person is leaving because he is moving away or if his job requires him to be in another location far away from you, you must also accept that you can't change this situation.

Share your feelings. When someone leaves you, it is important not to keep everything bottled up inside. This may make your own pain worse, and it could increase your stress level, making it hard for you to concentrate on everyday life. Sometimes, talking and sharing what you're feeling with other friends and family members can help you through this painful time. You can also join support groups for others in your situation. For example, if your spouse is in the military and she will be spending two years away from home, you may be able to find a support group for military spouses. Likewise, if your partner has left, you can find support groups for others in your same situation.

Keep yourself busy. Sometimes, the best way to cope with someone leaving is to distract yourself. Spend time doing an activity you love, or perhaps find a new hobby that you may enjoy. You can also distract yourself by making new friends or spending time with close friends or family members. Join a new social network, take a class, volunteer or get more involved in the community. As you grieve your loss, don't do it alone. After a broken relationship, it may be hard to feel valued. Reaching out to others may make you feel like your old self again.

Be patient. There is truth in the idiom that time heals all wounds. The pain that you're feeling now will heal in time, but you must be an active participant in your loss. Mourning is an active process, and you must work through your pain to cope. When someone leaves, the grief and pain that you may feel can be so intense that you need to see a professional to deal with it. It's easy to fall into depression when someone leaves, and counseling may be the easiest and most effective option for you to deal with your loss.

About the Author

DoanPhuong Nguyen has been a professional writer since 2007. Her articles have appeared in "Nashville City Paper," "Nashville Parent magazine" and numerous online publications. She holds a Bachelor of Arts from Vanderbilt University. She is also member of the Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators.

Photo Credits

  • Pixland/Pixland/Getty Images