A woman once told me that she felt honored her husband married her. Now - I was a little confused because her husband was a habitually cheater. Here she was, an intelligent and attractive woman, yet she felt honored to be married to a habitually cheater. She actually believed that because he married her, she was a 'cut' above the other women. In other words, she had the ring on her finger; therefore, she was better. Who cares if she was constantly stressed, always trying to stay ahead of him in the game. In her mind, it was cheaper to keep him, for she had the trophy, him, which other women wanted. Is it really cheaper to keep him? Below are three steps to help all women in this dilemma decide, "Is it really cheaper to keep him?"
- Places Blame on You
First, stop placing blame on yourself for his behavior? If you are placing blame on yourself, please stop. Habitually cheaters like the thrill of cheating. Even though they have the chronological age to be identified as men, they have the immaturity of children. It is just as if they are in a candy store, they see, they want. Therefore- you see, his habitual cheating has nothing to do with you, but more about his unwillingness to mature and learn self- discipline. Therefore, do not buy into the hype that it is your fault because you are not doing your job. With a habitual cheater, you could turn flips and hang from the chandelier, yet his satisfaction would only be for that moment. With the possibility of getting AIDS or other sexual transmitted diseases, ask yourself, "Is it cheaper to keep him?"
- Gives Up Family, Friends, and Dreams
Second, recognize that he wants you to give up your family and friends. Don't give up family, friends, and dreams because you are so engrossed in doing every and anything to keep him happy? If you have, you have lost your identity, for you have forgotten about your needs and wants. What happened to your dreams? What makes you happy? Are you willing to live the rest of your life like this? Forget about trying to change him. He has not changed, but you have changed. You are bitter and angry. The dreams you used to have are...no more. Now ask yourself, "Is it cheaper to keep him?"
- Affects Kids
Third, realize that your kids are watching you. They can see what is going on and feel the tension. The arguments...your red swollen eyes..., now ask yourself" "Is it cheaper to keep him?" Only you can decide.