How to Address Anger Issues in a Relationship

by Sheri Lamb

Whether you are dealing with a romantic relationship where your partner is short-tempered and blaming you for his problems or your mother is angry at your father and is complaining to you behind his back, you can address each issue in the same ways. Some people have anger-management issues, while others just need a way to vent mild pent-up emotions. The emotional chaos that can result from anger is often irrational and can scar or ruin relationships.

Set up regular meetings where you share your feelings about each other. This is a time to address issues before they escalate, according to psychologist Chuck Falcon. If an issue that you discussed does come up later, you can refer back to your discussion and the decision you made about the problem.

Recognize angry tendencies before the issue escalates. For example, point out when the other person's voice is getting louder. demanding and tense, according to Falcon.

Guide the person to an understanding if he is angry in your presence but not at you. Tell him that getting angry won't help the situation, so it is best to be calm and figure out a logical solution.

Help her recognize that she is angry. This is the first step to recovery, according to the Good News Plus, an online newspaper. Once she is aware of what she is doing, she may realize that it isn't the best way to conduct herself.

Listen to what he is saying and show empathy. You don't need to agree, but asking questions about why he feels the way he does can diffuse anger, according to anger management coach Craig Mollins.

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Items you will need

  • an open mind.
  • willingness to resolve.
  • the courage to stay the course.


  • Remember It is never to late to correct a mistake, If you are at a point were it has been years since the conflict, Its not to late, even if there is hate. Bear in mind what you experience may not be hate or anger when thinking about someone or hearing from them, it may be love. Because these are the two most complex emotions we have, and there is only a microscopic minute difference between the two. It never hurts to fix things or give things another chance, worse case you make peace. And there can be a healthy resolution.
  • Give it a chance, it is often very difficult but at the same time it is the "road least traveled by" and it can and will make the greatest difference in the road to not only self recovery, but the relationships recovery.
  • Take this article with an open mind, it may help you it may not. And all people have opinions. If you examine these steps they are productive and logical. And will go far in mending a relationship.


  • Never approach a source of support alone or biasly. Many times people seek advice and support from others of the same gender or family, but you cannot see it as accurate or sound. These people by design are only there to tell you your right and comfort you and make you feel better. So it is not knowledgeable or educated advice no matter what. Seek a professional WITH your partner and never alone. Professionals work best when they have both perspectives and are neutral.
  • Never delude yourself. Sometimes when people try to fix a situation we developed and reinforce the idea we were right, and that person is wrong. Even to the point of accusing them of being the antagonist. Remember you loved this person once and clearly they feel the same, so engage in the steps to make peace or even better mend the relationship not only to its former self in good times but stronger than before. And never ever try to justify your actions with that of being a victim. YOU WERE THE AGRESSOR, you are the one who initiated the harm, don't fool yourself into becoming the protagonist or the innocent one. Your anger made the mess, now you clean it up. Because if you don't you run the risk of this happening again or becoming desensitized and a more shallow and worse person. It is the initial victims choice if reconciliation is possible, if they forgive and try, don't shove away.
  • This is article is an opinion based off of extensive experience with positive results and a unique understanding of the Antagonists view and the Protagonists feelings. Please take it into consideration.

About the Author

Sheri Lamb has been a reporter since 2006 in community newspapers throughout Canada. While she has covered virtually every beat associated with community newspapers, Lamb specializes in sports. In addition to her skills as a reporter, Lamb holds a certificate in computer programming. She also runs a small catering company.

Photo Credits

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