Every relationship has its ups and downs. This is especially true when you live far from your significant other. The stress of distance and loneliness can add stress to the strongest long-distance relationship. However, communication and understanding can fix many problems before they have a chance to derail your relationship.
Avoiding the Green-Eyed Monster
Jealousy can be a dangerous emotion, especially in a long-distance relationship. While some jealousy is normal when you can't spend as much time as you want with your boyfriend, prolonged bouts of jealousy cause deeper problems. If you frequently argue with your boyfriend about who he is spending time with and what they're doing, he might start to lie to avoid an argument. To avoid this, establish clear boundaries. Define what is and isn't acceptable interaction. Then, if you do feel stirrings of jealousy, remind yourself that trust is the basis of successful relationships and turn your focus on all the reasons you have to trust your boyfriend.
No matter how much you love your boyfriend, there are going to be time when he irritates you. In order to avoid problems in a long-distance relationship, it’s important to keep those situations in perspective. When something bothers you, try not to react immediately. Instead, pause a minute and ask yourself if this incident will still matter to you in a year. If it won’t, try to let it go. Since you have limited time together, you don’t want to ruin it with needless criticism.
No relationship is completely fight-free. The key to solving problems is to make sure arguments are constructive and that they actually focus on solving the issue. Be specific about the things that are bothering you but avoid verbally attacking your significant other. If you can tell him how you feel and why you feel that way, you are creating a conversation in which you can both express your feelings. This will be the first step in solving the problem.
Accentuating the Positive
A positive attitude can make all the difference in a long-distance relationship. When you’re feeling frustrated or disappointed, think back to when you first met your boyfriend. Remember all the reasons that you first fell in love with him and all the great things he’s done for you throughout the course of your relationship. After all, you picked him for a reason. If you keep those reasons in the forefront of your mind, you will be more likely to feel satisfied and avoid problems.
- Psychology Today: Love From Afar: Staying Close While You Live Apart
- Larry Alan Nadig, Ph.D.: How to Express Difficult Feelings
- Clinical Psychology Associates of North Central Florida: Jealousy is a Dangerous Sword – Are You Ready for Some Tips?
- Don't Sweat The Small Stuff: Listening to the Language of Your Heart
- IT Stock Free/Polka Dot/Getty Images