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How to Make My Best Friend Feel Better After Her Boyfriend Dumped Her

by Zora Hughes

Getting dumped is one of the hardest experiences you can have, but it can be almost as painful to watch a best friend going through a rough break up as it is to go through it yourself. The most important thing that you can do is to be there for your friend and let her know she has your support. But whatever you do, avoid making the situation worse by being inadvertently insensitive to her situation. Just focus on listening and getting a smile back on her face as she gets through this difficult time.

Don't say the wrong thing. Sure, the guy may have been a total jerk, but telling her "you can do better, anyway" or "there are plenty of other guys," isn't going to make her feel better right after a fresh breakup. Instead, keep your opinions to yourself and sympathize with her for the first few days, according to Beliefnet.com contributor and relationship blogger Chanel Graham. Choose your words carefully and just express how much it stinks and how sorry you are that she is upset.

Let her vent. Sadness can quickly turn to anger and she may want to rant to you about everything he's ever done to her, or how much time she wasted on him. Encourage her to rant to get out her frustrations, but don't let her do it all day. Try to get her to reduce the amount of time she spends dwelling on what happened by keeping her busy with other things.

Cheer her up. It's an unofficial duty of a best friend to cheer up her friend going through a break up. Indulge your friend in comfort foods, like a gooey, chocolatey dessert from her favorite restaurant, or by making her a dish of yours that she loves. Watch goofy comedies that will have her cracking up. Avoid romantic comedies for the time being, or anything else that puts an emphasis on coupledom. Instead, take her out shopping and help her pick out a new outfit or a new pair of shoes.

Give her a distraction. Engage your heartbroken best friend in a new activity or hobby that will get her mind off of the break-up. Enlist her to hep you re-model your living room, her sign up for 5k run and train together. If you've been talking about taking a big girlfriends trip, make her the point person and get her started on making plans. Your friend will appreciate the distraction as well as having something positive to look forward to.

Warning

  • Avoid telling comparison stories of a break-up you went through, according to grief educator, author and "Marie Claire" contributor Val Walker, as it makes your friend's personal experience seem insignificant. Walker emphasizes validating and respecting her experience and how she feels about it.

About the Author

Based in Los Angeles, Zora Hughes has been writing travel, parenting, cooking and relationship articles since 2010. Her work includes writing city profiles for Groupon. She also writes screenplays and won the S. Randolph Playwriting Award in 2004. She holds a Bachelor of Arts in television writing/producing and a Master of Arts Management in entertainment media management, both from Columbia College.

Photo Credits

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