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How to Know When Enough Is Enough in a Relationship

by Becky Swain

Maybe you’ve already hung in there longer than you should. Perhaps your partner has let you down, betrayed you or left you emotionally devastated. Each time you vow to end the relationship once and for all. But here you are, still debating your next course of action. Sometimes it is difficult to know when enough is enough. Even when you want a relationship to work, it is important to recognize when to pull the plug and move on.

You Make Me Sick - Seriously

If you and your partner demonstrate overt dislike for each other, the relationship is probably ending, according to mental health counselor Stephanie Sarkis in her Psychology Today article, “7 Signs You’re Headed for a Breakup.” Open contempt for one another differs from covertly rolling your eyes or shaking your head when disagreeing with your partner. When a relationship is ending, you may loathe everything your partner says and does and express that loathing in front of others. Spending time with your partner makes you physically nauseous, and you can’t recall the last time you touched, because you don’t want to remember.

A First and Last Mistake

If your partner demonstrates uncontrolled rage, physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse, end the relationship, writes counselor Debra Fileta in the article “10 Signs Your Relationship Is in Trouble” in Relevant magazine. Maximize your safety by breaking it off by phone, and refuse to meet with this individual again. Expect your partner to attempt to manipulate you by blaming you or pleading for another chance. Some individuals use abuse and rage as dysfunctional tools to control and intimidate their partner. Just say no.

Stop Breathing My Air

Perhaps you and your partner share the same sofa, coffee maker, bed and remote control, but avoid sharing the same air space. You avoid spending time together and experience a sense of relief when your partner isn’t around. You don't share life dreams and plans. A transition from “teammate” to “roommate” can be a deal breaker for some relationships, recommends marriage and family therapist Allison Cohen in the YourTango article, "10 Signs Your Marriage Is in Trouble."

Going Round the Mulberry Bush

If the nursery rhyme, “Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush” reminds you of discussions with your partner about important issues, then enough may be enough. When you discuss whether to relocate for a job promotion, the outcome is emotionally disastrous. When disagreements related to key issues leave you feeling angry and depressed, consider this a red flag signalling problems in the relationship, writes counselor Elly Prior in the Professional-Counselling article, "Warning Signs of a Break Up."

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