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How to Leave a Codependent

by Jaime Vargas-Benitez

Leaving a codependent partner can be difficult. The codependent person is known for emotional outbursts when dealing with difficult situations. Your partner may try to manipulate you into staying. If you truly wish to leave, be honest with your partner about why you are leaving. You should set boundaries for any acceptable future contact. You can also utilize a counselor to help you through this difficult time. A codependent relationship may be difficult to leave, but you may find it more difficult to stay.

Truth Shall Set You Free

People who are codependent often demand a lot from a relationship. The codependent will expect the other partner to provide happiness and fulfillment. Breaking up with a codependent takes great honesty, advises clinical psychologist Roberta Cone in her article "Romantic Myths and Ending the Codependent Relationship" on her website Site for Creative Solutions. The destructive nature of codependency may be overlooked by the codependent individual. Be honest but sensitive. Explain, without blame, why you are no longer interested in pursuing the relationship.

Stand Firm

Once you decide to break up with a codependent person, it is important you stand your ground. The codependent person may try to control you through manipulation of emotions, according to the article "For Men: Eleven Signs You're in a Codependent Relationship And How to Get Out," published on the codependency assistance website Codependence Freedom. You should be prepared for the codependent partner to lash out in anger, frustration and hurt. By removing yourself from the situation, you can isolate your exposure to the codependent. If issues such as harassment or stalking become a problem, it may be best to call the authorities and possible consult a counselor for assistance.

Protect Your Boundaries

When you initiate a breakup with a codependent person, it is important set boundaries. Codependents are notorious for attempting to manipulate the other partner, says licensed professional counselor Chris Lewis in his article "Okay, Okay So I'm Codependent Already! Now Fix It!" published on the Maria Droste Counseling Center website. When you break up with your codependent partner, set up boundaries for limiting or stopping all contact. The clearer you are with your expectations, the less is left up to the interpretation of the codependent.

Heal Yourself

While a codependent person has many issues with control, low self-esteem and hyper-critical behavior, something attracted you to this person in the first place. In order to break off your codependent relationship, it can be helpful to strengthen your own self-esteem and emotional health in order to remain strong during the time, recommends Ph.D. student in psychology and social behavior Melissa Karnaze in her article "End a Codependent Relationship the Healthy Way" on her website Mindful Construct. You may need to seek personal counseling in order to deal with your emotions and the codependent partner's actions during the breakup.

About the Author

Jaime Vargas-Benitez has been a parenting writer since 2010. She has worked in the child wellness field in various roles for over 20 years. Along with the experiences of raising her own kids, she has been privileged enough to participate in the raising of hundreds of other children as well.

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