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How to Be a Dominant Wife

by Shara JJ Cooper

Traditional spousal roles include a dominant husband and a submissive wife. These roles have been changing so that men and women have a more egalitarian relationship. However, some couples enjoy a relationship in which the woman is more dominant than the husband. In order for this to work, both parties need to agree it's what they want. The dominant wife differs from a dominatrix as the role is expanded to include all areas of the relationship, not just the sexual aspects.

Talk to your husband about the role you want to take as a dominant wife. Some men suggest this role because they find it more alluring or comfortable; others are open to it as a way to add some spice to the marriage or on a part-time basis. Find out what you both want from the relationship and what the comfort zones are as far as dominance.

Make a list of the areas you want to dominate. This can include things like household chores, sexual relations or controlling how free time is spent. Approach your husband with the list to see if these areas are agreeable to him.

Take the initiative in these areas. Tell your husband what chores to do and when to do them, how he will spend time on his days off and what you expect in the bedroom. Some dominant wives expand the dominance in the bedroom to include submissive positions and things like bondage equipment, but this up to the comfort level of both parities.

References

  • "Dominant Women, Submissive Men: An Exploration in Erotic Dominance and Submission"; Gini Graham Scott; February 1984
  • "Women, Gender, and Social Psychology"; Virginia E. O'Leary, et al.; March 1985
  • "Strong Mothers, Weak Wives: The Search for Gender Equality"; Miriam M. Johnson; June 1990