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How to Deal With Jealousy When a Husband Looks at Other Women

by Marie Jones

When you vowed to share your life with your husband, you may not have known that his eyes would wander. Seeing your husband look at another woman may devastate you and make you feel angry, sad, lonely or hurt. The jealousy you feel may affect your self-esteem or strain your marital relationship. It's important to rein in your emotions if you see your husband looking at another woman, even when it's painful. Uncontrolled jealousy can not only damage your marriage, but also can lead to compulsive or overbearing behavior.

Make a list of reasons you're awesome. Improve your self-esteem with some positive self-affirmation. You don't need to share this list with anyone, but list at least five reasons you're sexy, beautiful, special or talented. Your reasons can include things such as "I'm a good dancer" or "I make delicious lasagna." Get creative with your list and dig deep into what makes you who you are.

Ask yourself why you feel jealous when your husband looks at another woman. Analyze and determine exactly what you feel. Perhaps you feel like you aren't attractive anymore or that your husband wishes you were younger, thinner or more beautiful. Maybe you're reminded of a past lover who was unfaithful or maybe you're afraid your husband will someday leave you for another woman. Pinpoint exactly what you're feeling to help you face your emotions and deal with your jealousy.

Talk with your husband about how you feel when he looks at another woman. Stay calm and relaxed while you talk. You may be tempted to yell, shout or point fingers, but try to be level-headed when you approach him. Say things like, "When you look at other women, I feel like you aren't attracted to me anymore" or "I feel alone and unwanted when you look at other women." Don't say things that make him out to be a bad guy, such as, "I know you want to cheat on me with her." Avoid accusing and instead focus on your feelings.

Seek marital counseling if you are unable to resolve your jealousy alone. A trained marriage counselor can offer you advice for dealing with your husband's behavior, but can also help your husband control his eyes better. If your husband is hesitant to attend a counseling session, try meeting with a counselor yourself to talk about your feelings and to get advice for improving your marital communication.

About the Author

I am an English major at UH Manoa and love to write. I currently publish several articles a month in the Ka Leo newspaper in Honolulu, as well as for Associated Content. I am a hard worker and would love the honor of publishing for your website.

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