our everyday life

How Can I Rekindle the Passion for My Husband?

by Shannon Philpott

After several years of marriage, it’s easy to forget the passion you once felt for your husband. When work obligations, family matters and household duties fill your day, the time and energy for passion can slowly disappear. Rekindling the love and intimacy, though, is important to maintaining a healthy relationship. With some creative planning and affectionate gestures, you and your husband can once again feel the excitement you felt as newlyweds

Schedule Date Nights

If your planner is filled to the brim with appointments and errands, clear some time for a date night with your husband. When partners make each other a priority, it keeps the marriage strong, says Maud Purcell, founder of The Life Solution Center of Darien, in an article published by Psych Central. Etch out a day or evening each week to spend alone-time with your husband. Date night can involve a candlelit dinner, a romantic movie or a stroll through the neighborhood hand-in-hand.

Share Your Thoughts and Dreams

It may seem that you know everything there is to know about your husband, but it’s likely he is much more interesting than you realize. Designate some time to share something special with each other. From dreams, goals, and feelings to hobbies and interests, share a “secret” with your hubby and ask him to do the same. The excitement of learning something new can reignite the passion in your marriage. These daily sessions of light communication can also focus on your needs, fantasies and wants, says Purcell.

Show Affection

Do you remember that tingly feeling you experienced every time your husband put his arm around you or kissed your neck? Bring back the butterflies by displaying affection when he least expects it. Make an effort to be sweet to each other, recommends Lynn E. O’Connor, clinical psychologist, in a "Psychology Today" article. A playful pat or a romantic kiss before he leaves for work will remind him that you still desire him. Even when the two of you may be at odds, displays of affection can help improve the mood and eliminate feelings of resentment, anger and bitterness.

Be Honest With Each Other

If you are concerned that the passion is gone in your marriage, it’s important to be honest with your spouse. Without nagging or pleading, tell him how you feel and express that you want to connect with him emotionally and physically. Many times, spouses are unaware that a problem exists. By modeling honest and trustworthy behavior, you can motivate your husband to work at rekindling the passion in your marriage. Sharing your wants and needs can help to reaffirm your commitment to the relationship, says Dr. John Grohol, founder and CEO of Psych Central.

About the Author

Shannon Philpott has been a writer since 1999. She has experience as a newspaper reporter, magazine writer and online copywriter. Philpott has published articles in St. Louis metro newspapers, "Woman's World" magazine, "CollegeBound Teen" magazine and on e-commerce websites, and also teaches college journalism and English. She holds a Master of Arts in English from Southern Illinois University.

Photo Credits

  • Michael Blann/Digital Vision/Getty Images