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How to Tell a Girl You Like Her When She Has a Boyfriend

by Margaret Kay

The possibility of rejection and embarrassment lingers over every romantic confession. Telling your crush how you feel requires vulnerability and involves a certain level of risk. When expressing your feelings to a girl who has a boyfriend, the possibility of rejection is much higher and the risk is much greater. It is important to consider the boyfriend's feelings and approach the situation respectfully.

Assess the situation with you, your crush and her boyfriend in mind. Decide if your feelings are strong enough to potentially disrupt their relationship. For example, ask yourself how long you have had feelings for her and if that time constitutes more than just a passing infatuation. Consider the risks involved in telling her your feelings. Decide how you will act if she confesses that she likes you too. Observe how she talks about and acts around her boyfriend. If they seem very happy together, make sure your feelings are substantial before you decide to confess them to her.

Arrange to meet with the girl one-on-one in a casual setting. Tell her you want to meet with her to discuss something important, so she is prepared for a serious talk. Arrange to meet in a public location such as a coffee shop or busy park, so it does not appear that you are trying to conceal anything or entice her into a situation of infidelity.

State your feelings for her in a respectful, straightforward and brief manner. Simply state that you like her and explain why. For example, explain how you think she's beautiful, funny and smart. Tell her how she makes you laugh and how you enjoy spending time with her.

Explain to her that you understand the difficulty of the situation. Tell her you respect her relationship with her boyfriend and that you do not wish to cause any harm. Tell her that all you want to do is let her know how wonderful you think she is, and explain how much you care for her. Explain that you completely respect any decision she chooses to make from this situation.

Tip

  • Do not tell the girl to keep your discussion from her boyfriend. Encouraging dishonesty in their relationship will only cause potential anger and sadness between them. It is up to her if she wants to tell her boyfriend or not.

About the Author

Margaret Kay has worked as a freelance writer since 2009. She has worked as a contributor to "The Gonzaga Bulletin." Kay has recently completed her Master of Theology in media ethics at the University of Edinburgh.

Photo Credits

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