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How to Spark Up a Conversation With Your Boyfriend

by David Coodin

If your boyfriend is not as talkative as you would like him to be, it might be that he is shy, nervous or just the quiet type. To strike up a conversation with your guy, be the friendly girlfriend who takes an interest in his likes, who can joke around and who will not get upset if he says the wrong thing. Also learn to recognize and respect when he needs silence.

Find out what he's passionate about and keep a running list in your head of topics that interest him. This way you'll always have something to talk about. Seek his comments and advice about your involvements to strengthen the bond between the two of you and to provide more topics for conversation. Men also like to feel that their opinions count, so give him an opportunity to state his.

Refer to events in the news and daily occurrences in your lives. Discuss some of your shared experiences such as the movie you saw or the concert you attended. Avoid scaring him with pressure-filled questions such as "How come we never have good conversations?"

If your boyfriend starts talking about an interest that you don't share, avoid shooting it down. Instead, pay attention and you might learn something. You can also use humor, where appropriate, to move the conversation along.

Evaluate how the conversation is going and act accordingly. If the conversation takes a turn for the worse and you feel either tension or awkwardness, think back to your list and take the conversation in a different direction.

Compliment your boyfriend about something he's doing or has done and on the way he dresses. Ask open-ended questions that will encourage him to give more than one-word answers. Avoid interrupting him. Your guy may clam up if you keep jumping in or talk too much.

Tip

  • If your boyfriend is not the talkative, don't pressure him. Pick your moments instead and accept that silence will be a big part of your relationship.

About the Author

David Coodin began working as a writer in 2005, and has been published in "The Walrus." He contributes to various websites, writing primarily in the areas of education and art. Coodin holds a Ph.D. in English literature from York University in Toronto.

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