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How to Know If Your Male Friend Still Has a Crush on You

by Maura Banar

Romantic movies and novels often focus on the frustration of one person not knowing if another person has a crush on her. If you suspect that your male friend had a crush on you in the past, you might wonder if he still has feelings for you. Perhaps, you’re stuck in the midst of a struggle between nurturing your friendship with him and looking for clues that he's interested in more. Being aware of what your male friend says, as well as his nonverbal cues, can let you know what he's feeling without having to ask him.

Pay attention to his nonverbal cues. Nonverbal behaviors can provide you with important information that the communicator might not be comfortable speaking. Signs that your male friend may still be attracted to you include prolonged eye contact, open posture, and smiling, notes the Social Issues Research Centre in their online publication "SIRC Guide to Flirting." Since you already know your male friend, it can be easier to discern his usual nonverbal cues from those that might indicate that he still has a crush on you. You can test the proverbial waters to encourage him to share more of his feelings nonverbally by casually and briefly using the same cues. Pay attention to his body language when you smile, maintain eye contact or touch his arm.

Listen to what he says so you can determine the potential underlying meaning of his words. Decide whether or not your male friend is flirting with you. Note whether he is being playful in a way that is also suggestive. If he makes statements that suggest what could happen between the two of you can infer that he is considering that option, explains psychologist Leon F. Selzer in the online publication "Flirt vs. Tease: What's the Difference?" If your friend makes occasional but fairly regular statements that suggest intimacy, it can indicate sexual arousal.

Ask mutual friends or family members what they think about the situation. Social supports can provide you with their perspectives on your male friend's feelings. Additionally, people who know him well can let you know if he frequently speaks about you – and if he blushes or smiles shyly when he brings up you name, which can be indicative of a crush. While you may not feel comfortable asking friends or family directly whether they believe your male friend still has a crush on you, keep in mind that in general conversation, simply bringing up his name can open the channels of communication.

Suggest some type of a date. Asking your male friend to join you for lunch or dinner or to share an activity can serve two purposes: First, his response can give you an indication as to whether he still has a crush on you. Second, you can observe his nonverbal reaction to your invitation. Also, when you do spend time with your male friend, suggesting that you spend more time together can give you a concrete response concerning his interest in you. A man who has a crush on someone will generally jump at the opportunity to spend time with the object of his affection.

About the Author

Maura Banar has been a professional writer since 2001 and is a psychotherapist. Her work has appeared in "Imagination, Cognition and Personality" and "Dreaming: The Journal of the International Association for the Study of Dreams." Banar received her Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Buffalo State College and her Master of Arts in mental health counseling from Medaille College.

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