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How to Learn More About Your Girlfriend

by K. Nola Mokeyane, studioD

If you want to know more about a person, just ask -- and watch -- and listen. Your girlfriend is always giving you clues about herself through verbal and nonverbal cues, and through your experiences with one another. Psychotherapist, columnist, radio host and speaker Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., says couples with more enjoyable relationships are those who took their time getting to know one another. Don't rush things -- you will learn more about your girlfriend as your relationship unfolds.

Ask your girlfriend questions about her life. This is the most commonly-used method of gaining more information about a person. Ask her questions over dinner, outdoor activities or over the phone. Start by making simple inquiries, such as "Where did you grow up?" or "Name one of your best experiences in high school?" As you and your girlfriend become more comfortable with one another, you'll each gain more information.

Listen to clues that she gives during casual conversation. You won't always have to ask her questions -- you can gain information about her family while the two of you are watching a movie, or learn about her favorite activities while planning an evening out on the town. Pay attention to personal anecdotes or stories about friends or ex-boyfriends -- these conversations will provide useful information about how she interacts with others.

Observe her home and personal spaces. When you visit your girlfriend's home, notice if she puts things in their designated places, or is a bit messy. Notice what kinds of foods she keeps in her refrigerator, and what books and movies she keeps on the shelves. Look at any family pictures that she may have hanging on walls, too. If you're ever in your girlfriend's car or other personal spaces, take a look around to learn more about her.

Ask your girlfriend's friends about her. Her friends will know plenty about her, and if you get along well with them, they may spill a few beans about their best gal. Ask her friends questions about her favorite gift items or her idea of the perfect date. Find out what they think you can do to please her in your relationship -- also, offer her friends a small token of appreciation so that they will continue to be a valuable source of information.


  • Allow a natural progression of your relationship to reveal more information about your girlfriend. Engage in open communication with her, and give as much information about yourself as you request of her.


  • Don't rely on social media outlets to provide you with information about your girlfriend -- you may misinterpret something that you see on one of her social media profiles, which could cause a misunderstanding between the two of you.

About the Author

K. Nola Mokeyane has written professionally since 2006, and has contributed to various online publications, including "Global Post" and Modern Mom. Nola enjoys writing about health, wellness and spirituality. She is a member of the Atlanta Writer's Club.

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