our everyday life

How to Flirt With an Ex-Girlfriend

by Anthony Oster, studioD

Rekindling an old romance isn't always easy, but flirting with an ex-girlfriend is one way to spark your former romantic feelings. While you might feel it's a bit taboo, flirting with an ex-girlfriend is more commonplace than you may think. A research article published in the March 2013 issue of the "Journal of Adolescent Research," indicates that nearly half of the 792 subjects interviewed reported rekindling a romance after a breakup. Flirting with your ex-girlfriend may seem awkward at first, but you can use that awkwardness to your advantage by interjecting a funny joke or quip that reminds her of your good sense of humor and let's her know that you regret the breakup. Whether you're flirting through a text, or have the opportunity to make your move in person, keep your flirtations fun, sexy and honest to improve your chance of a second chance.

Try to arrange spontaneous meetings with your ex-girlfriend rather than just calling her out of the blue to flirt. For example, if you know where and when she does her food shopping or that she walks her dog in a certain park, you can try to run into her at these places. Or, if you have mutual friends or interests, you can intentionally try to cross paths with her at a party or other social event. If this doesn't work, a text or a call to see how she's doing can also work.

Break the ice by reminding your ex about an old memory that you shared. For example, by saying, "You look just as beautiful as you did on the night that I first kissed you," you're not only paying your ex a flirtatious compliment, but you're also letting her know that you think fondly of your past relationship.

Mention that you are happy you had such a wonderful relationship. Let her know that you don't regret your relationship, but you do the breakup, notes Flirt.com, a dating website.

Poke fun at some of the follies in your past relationship. If you say, "I was a real bonehead for not being attentive to someone who's probably the most amazing person I know -- and also has the most incredible blue eye I ever saw," you're acknowledging remorse on your part, while also flirting with your ex.

Give her your full attention. When flirting with your ex, avoid any outside distractions, such as phone calls, texts or invitations to hang out with other friends. Giving your ex your full attention will reinforce the fact that you are into her and can make your flirting activity more effective.

Utilize nonverbal communication cues when possible. Smile, laugh, and playfully touch her arm while you're flirting with her. If she flirts back, you might want to use a playful touch to remind her of the amazing massages that you used to give. However, don't overstep your bounds. Watch and listen for her cues to see if she's interested.


  • Flirting with your ex while either you or her are in a relationship can be potentially hazardous to your current relationship.

About the Author

Anthony Oster is a licensed professional counselor who earned his Master of Science in counseling psychology at the University of Southern Mississippi. He has served as a writer and lead video editor for a small, South Louisiana-based video production company since 2007. Oster is the co-owner of a professional photography business and advises the owner on hardware and software acquisitions for the company.

Photo Credits

  • Jupiterimages/Goodshoot/Getty Images