As excited and happy as you might be about your relationship with your boyfriend, you might have an equal amount of dread when he asks you to meet his mother. The thought can be intimidating, because you want to make a good impression on the woman who means so much to your boyfriend. Although being nervous is normal, it is important to relax and be yourself. Being well prepared for meeting his mom will make you less nervous and help make that all-important first meeting go smoothly.
Ask your boyfriend about his mother. Learning about her personality and her interests will help you undestand how to best approach her and will give you ideas on subjects to talk to her about.
Find an appropriate gift for her. It is traditional and polite to bring a small gift if you are going to someone's home for the first time. Even if you are meeting at a restaurant, a small gift for his mother will be appreciated and shows that you have class. Keep the gift simple but sweet, such as flowers or a scented candle.
Dress appropriately. Make a good first impression by dressing nicely when you meet his mom. Even if his mother is laid back, err on the side of caution and dress conservatively for the first meeting. Consider wearing a knee-length dress and a top that doesn't show cleavage, recommends relationship expert Karen Sherman, Ph.D., in an article for "Cosmopolitan." Dressing up shows respect and that you take meeting her seriously.
Address her appropriately when you meet. Even if your boyfriend says to call her by her first name, address her with "Mrs." or "Ms," and let her tell you what you can call her.
Keep the conversation light. Don't delve into hot button topics such as religion or politics. You can save deeper conversations for later, notes relationship expert and professor Kathleen Bogle in an article on Her Campus. Instead, find ways to compliment her or her home or talk about her interests, which can segue into other pleasant conversation.
Avoid alcohol if possible. Unless his mother and other adults are drinking, it is best to stay away from alcohol, advises relationship expert Patti Feinstein, known as America's dating coach, in the article on Her Campus. Depending on how much you drink, you could feel a little too relaxed and say something you wish you hadn't. If everyone else is drinking, stick to just one glass of wine or beer.
Be prepared to answer a lot of questions. Depending on her personality, your boyfriend's mom may grill you about your background, your career and your future plans. If there are sensitive issues related to your past, practice answering questions about them in a tactful and respectful manner without getting defensive.
Offer to help clean up. If you are eating a meal at her home, jumping in to help makes a good impression, showing that you are thoughtful and helpful.
- Remain neutral if your boyfriend's mom brings up controversial topics and you have a different view than she does. If she asks your opinion directly, be honest but diplomatic, saying that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and try to steer the conversation to lighter topics.
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