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How to Determine If He's a Flirt or Player

by Kristen Moutria, studioD

If you are interested in a new guy, the last thing you want to find out is that he is actually a player and just using you for physical gratification or some sort of ego boost. However, you might have an uneasy feeling that a relationship with him is destined to be short-lived and will leave you heartbroken. If you want to determine if he's not actually interested in a serious relationship with you, there are a few telltale signs you should look out for.

He Is Too Good to Be True

If you have a sense that your guy is too good to be true, do not ignore it. Psychology professor Nancy Kalish, in an article for Match.com, describes the feeling you may experience: He is charming and very romantic, but you wonder if he has been this way with many other women. If you feel like he is playing a flirtatious game with you instead of actually trying to get to know you, he is likely not interested in a real romance.

He Is Into Himself

Vanity is an unmistakable characteristic of a player or flirt, and if your guy seems more into himself than you, he is probably not the best candidate for a relationship. Colleen Crawford reports on the "Health Guidance" website that all womanizers are inherently vain, and it is their egos that allow them to believe that the way they treat women is acceptable. If he does not treat you the way you deserve but would never understand if you tried to talk to him about it, let him go and do not look back.

He Confuses You With Other Women

There is no more obvious way to tell that your guy is just a player than when he confuses you with other women. Carli Alexa Blau reports on "The Frisky" website that if he calls you by another woman's name, not only is there is someone else, but he cannot even remember which one you are. Crawford says a more subtle sign that he is confusing you with past lovers is if he constantly calls you pet names and never by your real name.

He Declares His Feelings Immediately

If he is overly quick to declare his undying love to you, take a step back. Kalish says that players use a "fast come-on" approach, by making grandiose statements of affection, as well as not being afraid of intimacy. However, Kalish states that normally men are more guarded with their emotions when they are genuine. If his feelings for you developed too quickly, they are likely superficial and he probably has hidden motives.


  • The Mind of a Womanizer; Terry Bams

About the Author

Kristen Moutria has a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Evangel University. She is currently pursuing her Master of Arts in education from the University of Nebraska.

Photo Credits

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