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How to Deal With a Guy Calling You Fat

by Kristen Moutria

If a guy called you fat, you are most likely fighting feelings of self-doubt and confusion. You may wonder if his words are true and start asking yourself what you can do to drop weight. Wanting to prove to him that you can be skinny, you may even decide to begin an extreme diet and exercise plan. Before making any drastic decisions, it is essential that you take a step back and be objective about this hurtful criticism. You can overcome hurtful words and embrace who you are without letting one rude comment make you feel terrible about yourself.

Calm yourself down. You will naturally feel defensive after a guy calls you fat, and this is a perfectly acceptable reaction. Although you may wish you could become mature enough to not be vulnerable to another's criticism, this is not real life, according to Harriet Lerner, psychologist and author of "The Dance of Anger" and "The Dance of Connection." Take a step back from the situation and breathe. Instead of letting anger cloud your judgment or your emotions make you feel out of control, accept the fact that what that guy said hurt you, and that it is going to take some work to get his words out of your mind.

Question the source of the criticism by asking yourself a few important questions. Who was the guy who called you fat, and how did he have the audacity to say something so hurtful? Is he someone whose opinion you value? Was his criticism constructive or merely hurtful? Asking yourself why the guy would call you fat will help you be objective about his hurtful words. An insecure man tends to be critical, according to Joseph Nowinski, the supervising psychologist at the University of Connecticut Health Center. He most likely called you fat because he feels insecure about himself in some way. Instead of being honest about his self-image problems, he tried to make himself better by bringing you down.

Build yourself up. Focus on what makes you beautiful, desirable and special, instead of dwelling on one hurtful comment from an insecure guy. You should treat yourself with kindness and encouragement, according to the Mayo Clinic staff. Telling yourself that you can conquer challenges in your life, such as by overcoming hurtful words, will allow you to build your self-confidence. Furthermore, refusing to allow negative thoughts to control your mindset will help you feel positive about yourself and your life.

Learn from his mistake. The guy who called you fat made a big mistake, but the way you reacted to it does not have to be the same if you are ever criticized again. While you will initially feel defensive at criticism, refusing to get your self-worth from the opinions of others will help you become more secure. The guy who hurt you may have made a sizable error, but you can make the decision that somebody else's words will never define you or keep you from embracing who you are.

About the Author

Kristen Moutria has a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Evangel University. She is currently pursuing her Master of Arts in education from the University of Nebraska.

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