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How to Feel Less Bad About Yourself After a Breakup

by Stacey Elkins

Breakups can leave you devastated, questioning your self-worth and wondering where you went wrong. You feel vulnerable, your emotions are raw and you don't feel good about yourself. As hard as breakups can be, you won't always feel bad about yourself. With time, support and doing what's best for you, you will feel better.

Reach Out to Others

You might feel like being alone, but isolation will only make this time more difficult. Isolating yourself can leave you alone with overwhelming feelings and thoughts that lead to more sadness and hurt, warns New York City-based counselor Nathan Feiles. Reach out to someone you trust such as a close friend, a family member or your pastor. Talking about your feelings can help you feel better about yourself.

Take Care of You

It's important that you take care of yourself. Eat a healthful diet and get plenty of sleep. An inadequate diet and shortage of sleep can lead to feelings of depression, asserts Philadelphia-based counselor "Alex" Caroline Robboy. Keep your body active by exercising. Go for a swim, take a cardio class or walk around your neighborhood. Do things that help you relax such as getting a massage, taking a hot bath or reading a book.

Forget About Your Ex

Accept that your relationship is over and that you need to move forward with your life. Holding onto a fantasy that you and your ex will reunite can prolong your acceptance of the breakup, says Ivan Chan, a Santa Cruz, California, therapist. As hard as it can be, leave your ex in the past. Don't try to hold onto him via social media outlets such as Facebook and Twitter. Don't ask mutual friends about him and his whereabouts. Finding out that he is dating someone new, moved to a new town or got a new job isn't going to make you feel better about yourself. In fact, it may make you feel worse about yourself and the breakup.

Change Your Thinking

The way we think influences how we feel and how we behave, suggests counselor Tyler J. Andreula on Psych Central. While you may feel bad about yourself and feel that you can't live without your ex, the truth is, you can live without her. Rather than tell yourself you will never find someone new, tell yourself that you will find someone better. It can be easy to idealize your ex and your relationship when you are feeling bad. Remind yourself why you're better off without her.

About the Author

Stacey Elkins is a writer based in Chicago. She earned a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Southern Illinois University in Carbondale and a Masters in social work from the University of Illinois in Chicago, where she specialized in mental health.

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