our everyday life

How to Deal With a Clingy Partner in a Relationship

by Kristen Moutria, studioD

If your partner is clingy, you might have conflicting emotions that are making it difficult for you to know what to do. On one hand, you may feel flattered that your significant other is so infatuated with you that he needs to be around you all the time. On the other hand, you feel exhausted having to constantly spend time with your partner and are afraid of his reaction if you explain that you need an evening to yourself. No matter what situation you are facing, you can solve your relationship problems by offering a few solutions that will benefit both you and your clingy partner.

Suggest separate activities. One basic way to deal with your clingy partner is to suggest that the two of you get involved in separate activities that are engaging and enjoyable. This way, your partner will spend time away from you while still enjoying himself. You should suggest to your boyfriend that he feeds his need for companionship on a sports team or a small group, according to the experts at eHarmony.com. You may find that he will become less clingy in your relationship if his life is filled with different activities that offer fun and friendship.

Introduce new friends. When you spend time with friends in a group setting, your lover will be forced to take his attention off of you alone. He will enjoy his time getting to know others and your dates will not be solely focused on your romantic connection. By introducing new friends, you'll show your boyfriend that you can still enjoy each other's company while being around others, and that life is more interesting with some variety in relationships.

Address his fears. A person may be clingy as a result of his fear of abandonment, according to Dr. Mark Banschick, author of "The Intelligent Divorce" book series. By encouraging your boyfriend and expressing your devotion to him, you will deal with the root insecurity that is causing him to be so clingy in your relationship. Instead of being clingy out of fear that you will leave him, he will have the confidence to know that you are still thinking about him, even when you must be apart for a while.

Consider whether to end the relationship. If your partner continues to be clingy and refuses to work on his fundamental issues, you may have no choice but to break up with him. Your relationship may be unhealthy if your boyfriend demands he must constantly be by your side or needs to know where you are at all times, according to Michael Freeman, M.A., founder of website The Breakup Blueprint. This step is a last resort, reserved for the situation in which your boyfriend does not make the needed changes in your relationship. Being involved with someone clingy is not healthy for the long-term, but if he makes changes and gives you more freedom, your relationship may have lasting potential.


  • If your boyfriend is dangerously clingy and threatens to harm you if you do not spend all your time with him, get out of the relationship immediately and avoid him. Being clingy is one thing, but threatening you is unacceptable.

About the Author

Kristen Moutria has a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Evangel University. She is currently pursuing her Master of Arts in education from the University of Nebraska.

Photo Credits

  • Goodshoot/Goodshoot/Getty Images