According to eHarmony, more than 90 eHarmony members marry on an average day as a result of being matched on the site. To belong to that statistic, you first need to find someone on eHarmony and meet up to determine whether you wish to pursue a relationship with him or her. Asking someone from eHarmony to meet up can be one of the most exciting and nerve-wracking experiences. But knowing what to expect and what steps are needed before meeting up will help you in your pursuit.
Send a message. Use the eHarmony compatibility test results to find your matches. Find someone among your matches who you would like to become better acquainted with. Send an initial message to the person that is friendly, personal, casual and of reasonable length. Sending everyone you encounter on eHarmony a generic message may save you time, but it will likely result in fewer responses. You're more likely to get their attention by referencing their profile or asking a question. Be respectful of the person and keep the message casual. You may think you've found the one, but coming on strong will likely make anyone run away. Avoid sending a message to someone that is too long or boring. Most people won't have time to read long messages until a friendship has been established. Refrain from sending a second message if you haven't received a first response. Realize you aren't the only one with whom the person is communicating. If you don't receive a response from your message, take it as a sign of disinterest and move on.
Exchange messages back and forth. Most people prefer at least a minimal level of interaction on eHarmony before agreeing to meet up. You can save time and money by knowing answers to important questions before meeting up. Exchange messages with the person once you've received a response that indicates a level of interest. Always try to ask an open-ended question to help continue the exchange of information. Slowly add more length and depth to your messages as you and the person become better acquainted. Reveal your personality so the person can see who you are outside of your eHarmony profile.
Arrange for an online date. Make arrangements to use eHarmony's "open communication", which will allow you both to freely chat back and forth, once a friendship has been established. This will help the relationship progress past the stage of sending messages. It will also help you seek answers to important questions beyond small talk. Keep the conversation short and casual. Don't feel that you need to reveal every detail of your life. You want to be honest and not play games, but leave some mystery. Chatting with the person using eHarmony's "open communication" will help confirm the level of mutual interest before you ask the person out. If the chat goes well, it will help both parties feel more comfortable with the idea of meeting up. When chatting with the person, try to find common interests. It will be easier to meet up with the person if you already share a love for Indian food or a desire to visit the local art gallery. Aim to meet up sooner rather than later unless distance is an issue. Both people need face-to-face interaction, as online interaction can only provide so much.
Ask person for phone number. Send the person a message to ask for their phone number if you would like to meet up. Allude to the common interest you discussed and how it would be fun to go and do it together. This will help keep things casual, and both people can be prepared for the activity. Avoid sounding desperate or demanding when you request the person's phone number. Make sure you give the person your phone number so he or she can anticipate your call. Don't be offended if the person prefers to give you their email address instead. Some people prefer not to give out their phone number until an initial face-to-face meeting with the person.
Ask person out. Once you have their phone number you're ready to call them. Wait one or two days until you make the phone call. Calling too soon will make you appear desperate, but waiting too long may cause them to lose interest. Or, if you already made plans, call the night before to confirm the meeting. Arrange for a time and place to meet up. Make sure they have your phone number in the event they get lost or stuck in traffic. You likely won't be able access your eHarmony account if there is a last minute delay or change in plans.
Items you will need
- eHarmony account
- Keep your expectations low. Don't expect to meet the love of your life, but do expect to meet new friends.
- Refrain from judging a person in the first two minutes of a face-to-face meeting. Realize that the initial meeting may be awkward for you both.
- Photodisc/Photodisc/Getty Images