How to Text an Apology to My Boyfriend

by Anthony Oster

An apology should be sincere and genuine and acknowledge a sense of wrongdoing on your part. Although many people believe that an apology is something that should be done in person, text messaging is starting to replace traditional conversations. The International Association for the Wireless Telecommunications Industry Advocacy reports that in 2012, more than 6 billion text messages were sent in the U.S. This averages out to approximately 69,000 text messages every second that year. If you do decide to send your boyfriend an apology via text message, it should include several key elements if you want it to be taken seriously.

Use clear and direct language in your text message. Clearly state your intentions in your apology, identifying why you believe you were wrong, and direct your apology toward your boyfriend to avoid mixed messages.

Clearly state that you are sorry by saying "I'm sorry" early in the text. Apologies such as "You were right" do not give a clear indication of being sorry, even though you are admitting fault.

Admit your fault in the apology, but avoid placing blame. Even if both you and your boyfriend did something wrong, placing blame in an apology is insincere and robs your boyfriend of the chance to receive a sincere apology. Use language that identifies your wrongdoing, such as "I'm sorry. I was hurt by our argument and lashed out at you. That was wrong, and I apologize for my actions."

Identify how things will be different in the future. An apology does not hold much weight if the action that required the apology will reoccur. "I'm sorry for causing a scene at the restaurant. I felt intimidated when your ex-girlfriend stopped to say hello, and I promise to try and control my temper in the future" is an example of how you plan to change you behavior in the future.

Give your boyfriend time to respond to your apology. If you send your text too soon after the incident, he may still be angry or hurt and need more time to process your apology before he responds.


  • Although it can be easier to reach out to your boyfriend via text than in person, your apology may come across as insincere because you did not make the effort to reach out in person. Use text messaging as a way initiate a conversation that will allow you to apologize in person later.

About the Author

Anthony Oster is a licensed professional counselor who earned his Master of Science in counseling psychology at the University of Southern Mississippi. He has served as a writer and lead video editor for a small, South Louisiana-based video production company since 2007. Oster is the co-owner of a professional photography business and advises the owner on hardware and software acquisitions for the company.

Photo Credits

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