Rules of Relationships for Military Men

by Mary Rose

Having a relationship can be difficult when you are in the military. During deployments or periods of training, emotions can flare easily and make everything seem more intense. There are some basic rules that can be useful for a military man with a girlfriend or for a married military man.


A lot of the time spent in the military will be time spent away from loved ones. Long-distance relationships are never easy for either person, but it is important that you trust your spouse. Showing trust will let her know that you think highly of her morality and that you know she will make the right choices while you are gone.

Be Patient

Military men are away from home a lot for training or deployments. The spouses are home taking care of the children, the housework and all of the bills. Some spouses might even be working outside of the home or taking college classes. If you call the house and get an answering machine, have patience. Keep in mind the things that your spouse might be dealing with but doesn't want to mention when she only has a few minutes on the phone with you. When you are able to get in touch with her, don't give her a hard time about not answering earlier. Enjoy the time that you do have on the phone.

Be Faithful

Deployments can be anywhere from three months to eighteen months. The time away from your spouse will be lonely and probably boring. You will have limited access to movies, music and nightlife. Sometimes you may be tempted to seek comfort with someone in the same town. If you are going to have trust in your wife, she should be able to trust you, as well. Giving in to temptation can ruin years of trust with your spouse. Your spouse should have your utmost respect while you are away.

Be Calm

Tensions can run high during phone conversations. It is easy for things to be misunderstood. You are both frustrated and upset that you cannot have the conversation face-to-face. No matter what the circumstances, remain calm. If you are stationed in a combat zone, it is important that you are aware of what's going on around you at all times. When frustrations get the better of you both, take a deep breath. Calmly explain that you feel the conversation should be continued at another time.

Be Encouraging

Your wife is at home with a lot on her plate. Be sure to let her know that you appreciate all that she is doing for you, the house and the kids. If she has problems or misses a bill payment, it is not the end of the world. Listen to her frustrations and offer simple solutions. Don't try to take over and tell her how to do things or she might feel as though you feel she is not doing a good job. Let her know that it's only for this certain period of time and you will be home to help her out soon.

Stay Home

Staying home (or in the barracks) goes with trust and faithfulness. It's easier to get yourself in hot water if you are going out and drinking alcohol every weekend. Going out for drinks with your buddies after a hard day is understandable, but when you are doing it every weekend or even during the weekdays, then you should evaluate your actions. How would you feel if your wife was going out to the bars every weekend or during the week? Do not do to her what you would not want done to you.

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About the Author

Mary Rose has been writing professional procedure manuals for the past three years. Her most recent articles have appeared on eHow.com. Rose is currently working towards a journalism degree at Central Texas College.