Of course, there will be disagreements in any marriage. The key is how you resolve them. Do it right and your marriage will grow stronger and deeper by the day.
Separate complaints, which can be destructive, from constructive criticism, which you can learn from and build upon.
Understand your spouse's emotional needs. Listen to what your spouse is saying, but also try to understand why he or she is saying it.
Learn to communicate nondefensively and nonaggressively. Presenting facts or feelings in a neutral manner helps avoid escalation.
Stay calm and be direct. Be truthful with your spouse and with yourself. What are you really feeling?
Keep studying those first four steps. Practice makes perfect. And perfecting your marriage is worth all the practice you can put into it.
- Practice conflict resolution with small matters, such as picking out silverware, before moving up to complex, possibly disharmonious decisions such as choosing pets and naming children.