After years or decades of marriage, it is common for couples to get into a comfortable routine. Work obligations, household duties, and activities with kids and grandkids fill your daily roster. Just because you’re 50 or older, however, it doesn’t mean that the excitement has to end within your relationship. Jumpstart your marriage with date nights, social engagements and affection to bring back the newlywed days.
Designate Date Nights
If your schedule seems like you and your spouse pass like ships in the night, before you crash in bed, it is time to reinvigorate your love life. Make each other a priority and plan weekly date nights, suggests Maud Purcell, family therapist at PsychCentral.com. Plan a candlelight dinner, a walk in the park or a casual lunch during the week to bring back the spark in your relationship. You’re over 50, but you can still act like a love-struck teenager.
You think you know everything about your spouse. You know his favorite tie, his favorite socks, his favorite aftershave, the music he loves and the groups he hates. He knows your favorite body butter, the cologne you loved last year (but hate this year), your fave slouchy socks, your fave jeans and the restaurants you love, and why. There is, however, so much more to learn about each other. Schedule time every day to share something special, recommends Purcell. Keep the conversation light and avoid discussing finances, schedules or work, so that you keep this a fun engagement, and not something that seems like just another chore.
Confide in Each Other
Beyond a daily dose of light conversation, confide in each other when you need to talk. Your life partner is available to listen, not only with his ears but also with his heart. Do the same for him and foster a safe environment for honest, open communication. When sharing dreams, disappointments, wants and needs, it reaffirms your commitment to each other, says Dr. John Grohol, founder and CEO of Psych Central.
When he kisses you on the forehead or reaches out to hold your hands, he can make you feel like the luckiest person in the world. Make every effort to be affectionate to your spouse when he least expects it, recommends Lynn E. O’Connor, in "How to Have a Happy, Long-Term Partnership (With or Without “Marriage”), " in Psychology Today. Gentle, affectionate gestures can lighten the mood when stress takes its toll. Show your spouse that you still find him attractive. The smallest gesture can change your partner’s mood and help you bond.