How to Rebuild Trust in a Relationship

happy couple image by Mat Hayward from

Trust remains one of the most important elements in a relationship. Without trust in your relationship, failure is sure to follow. Trust in a relationship gives you a measure of peace and calmness that leads to satisfaction and security.

Understand that it is not as simple as telling someone to trust you again especially if you have severely wounded that person's heart causing them not to trust you. In order for these words to have meaning, your actions must work in harmony with your words. Yes, this may very well mean you have to give up a little more of your privacy than you are comfortable with. If the person in the relationship means anything to you and rebuilding the trust in your relationship is important, you will gladly sacrifice your privacy.

Tell the truth. You may have fallen into a pattern of lying to cover up your wrongdoing. Continuing on this path will come to no good. When asked a question, be as truthful in your answer as you humanly can. The truth may or may not meet with your partner's approval, but this is necessary in order to rebuild trust in your relationship.

Let go of the secrecy. It is not worth it to continue keeping secrets from your spouse, and it takes a tremendous amount of effort to keep them from surfacing. Hold onto this important thought: Secrets kill trust, and when trust dies, so does your relationship.

Create a safety net. Just as a trapeze artist uses a safety net to practice his skills, rebuilding trust in a relationship needs to have a measure of safety given to it. Create an environment for your partner that makes her feel safe in your presence. Make the effort to reveal who you truly are so that your partner feels she also knows your character. This makes your partner feels safe because she now is aware of how you react to different feelings, such as when you are tired, frustrated and even scared. When she knows this beforehand, she does not become frightened when she see these behaviors; rather, she realizes that what is going on with you is temporary and backs off.

Ask questions. In rebuilding trust if you are not sure how to handle a certain situation, ask your partner how they feel. The worst thing you can do is to assume you know how they feel or how they prefer to handle the matter. Then, carefully listen to what they say, asking for clarification when needed. You do not always have to agree on the eventual outcome; however, considering how the other feels by asking questions helps to rebuild trust in your relationship.