How to Know if You Are Ready for Divorce

by braniac

There are many questions that you may ask yourself before you dive into a divorce. Perhaps there was a huge fight and your anger turns into "I want a divorce". First of all know that you can never make a decision to get a divorce based on anger.

There are many questions surrounding the big question about divorce. Every situation is different, but there are many things that you will want to consider.

Your Financial Situation:

Am I financially able to take care of myself and my family without my spouse?

This is a question for either party who is considering divorce. Although the woman is usually the one who is awarded custody, a man considering divorce has to look at alimony and child support.

Will he be able to pay that and live on his own? A woman needs to realize that she will not be able to live on just child support and alimony. She will have to go and work as well.

Consider the Children First and Foremost:

I did a lot of weighing when I considered my divorce. It was hard, but I know that I had moved on mentally and emotionally long before I proceeded with the divorce. Once you have moved passed the "do I really love him/her" and the "is there any hope for us", logical reasons start coming to play.

The love and trust were gone, so that was not even considered in my weighing the question of divorce. I considered my children and that was the biggest factor. I knew that their father never went to see his other kids, so what would make mine any different? This was a hard one to swallow.

I knew that my kids would basically never see him and with the persistence of their step-Mom and myself, we managed to pull it off for awhile. They haven't seen or heard from him in several months. I knew this would happen because it has been many years that he had contact with his other two sons.

This also played in on my weighing of reasoning. I knew that he had problems, because if a man never contacts his kids, he needs help. After 11 years of begging and pleading with him to contact his other boys, I knew there was no hope for my kids seeing him. He definitely needs help and I couldn't help him. It was tiresome.

Are You Sure The Love is Gone?:

Although this wasn't my case, because I knew that it was long before I considered my own divorce, some couples may realize that they still have love and hope for the marriage to stay intact. They may just need time apart.

The best way that anyone will know whether or not the love is still there, is to spend time apart for awhile.

Ask yourself:

-Do I miss them? -What do I miss about them? -Am I happier without them around, even if I didn't have any friends? -Can I imagine them with anyone else? How would I feel about it.

If there is any hope to stay married when asking yourself these questions, then the two of you should consider staying together. If there is even a flicker of hope, then there is hope.

Divorce is a hard thing. The children hurt the most and even if you are so aggregated at your spouse, you cannot show that to the kids. They are already blaming theirself for the divorce. They are already noticing a more absent parent.

Their world is turned upside-down, with no stability. It is not easy on them at all. However, if your situation is like my own, then it will definitely be for the better later on down the road. Remember to remind your child(ren) that they are loved and that the other parent loves them too. This goes for kids that are like mine, because they will see the truth for themselves when they are older, as I am sure their half brothers do now. Consider all of these factors once you consider divorce.

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