How to Get Men to Notice and Be Attracted to You

by Elise Wile

Persian poet Rumi wrote, "What you seek is seeking you." If only it were so easy when it comes to finding men. To get the attention of someone you're interested in, you might have to be a bit calculating. Attraction doesn't happen in a vacuum, but is the result of a number of processes, some of which you can influence.

Get out and about. It's easy to stay home with the television and your computer, but if you stay on the couch, you'll likely be doing so alone. To get noticed, you have to put yourself out there. Get out your calendar and pencil in some events -- art openings, sporting events and church are all good places to meet men.

Look your best. Besides getting a manicure and wearing your most flattering outfit, consider swiping on some red lipstick or wearing a red scarf. Research published in the December 2011 edition of the "Journal of Experimental Social Psychology" found that the color red is an environmental stimulus that increases attraction.

Smile. When a woman makes eye contact with a man, he'll approach her 20 percent of the time. When she smiles, however, she'll be approached more than 60 percent of the time, notes psychologist Jeremy Dean in a June 2011 article for Not only will smiling get you noticed, it will make you more approachable.

Get fit. General good health is attractive. In his book "In Your Face: The New Science of Human Attraction," David Perrett notes that people who appear strong and healthy have a better chance of being successful with the opposite sex, a fact that serves to unite healthy partners for reproductive purposes.

Be true to yourself, advises professor of philosophy Mark White in "Psychology Today," noting that when you are, "you will attract the type of person that you try to attract." In other words, if you pretend to be a giggly woman who loves football, you will attract a man who likes giggly women who love football. This is bad news if you actually prefer reading Proust and can't remember when football season begins. When you reveal your true self, it could take longer for the right man to notice you, but the result will be worth the wait.

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About the Author

Elise Wile has been a writer since 2003. Holding a master's degree in curriculum and Instruction, she has written training materials for three school districts. Her expertise includes mentoring, serving at-risk students and corporate training.

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