Separating from a marriage is no easy task. When you combine the financial, emotional and social woes, you may find that getting back into a regular life is more challenging than you had expected. For many divorcees, a marriage separation is the beginning of a long road back to a normal way of living. If you are struggling because of a recent separation or are concerned about what may happen in the future, a few tips can help you to get back on your feet.
Get Your Own Place
As soon as separation proceedings commence, you are effectively beginning your own life. Move out of the house, or ask your partner to move out if the house belongs to you. Staying in a home with your partner during divorce proceedings and beyond can cause immense stress and will block your ability to begin a new life. Moving out is one of the most difficult parts of a marriage separation, so get it over with first to make the rest easier.
Lean on Your Friends
It can be incredibly lonely to suffer through a divorce or separation. It is easy to be overcome with depression or sadness and end up isolating yourself from people you care about. Find time for your friends and get out of the house. Go to dinner, meet friends for coffee and hit the gym -- whatever it takes to keep your mind and body moving forward instead of sitting still and stagnating. The more quickly you put yourself back into social situations, the better you will feel.
Talk to Your Kids
If you have children, you need to make sure their emotional needs are being met over the course of the separation. Many parents are so focused on their own emotional distress that they neglect to spend time talking to their kids about how the children feel about what is happening. Make time each week to sit down with your children and listen to their concerns, questions, and feelings. This will keep your parent relationship strong and may help you to deal with some of your own emotional issues.
Handle the Legal Stuff
While dealing with paperwork and money may be the last thing on your mind as you enter a marriage separation, you need to handle some important legal items to ensure you are protected as proceedings begin. Shut down all joint bank accounts, take your name off the lease and other bills if you're moving out, make a list of important financial information like credit-card balances and mortgage agencies and get a list of the contents of any joint security boxes. Covering these legal bases will help you in the end, though they may be difficult to begin.