Lovey-Dovey Things to Say to Your Husband

by Kathryn Rateliff Barr

Your words can inspire and motivate your husband, if you express honest admiration for who and what he is right now, according to marriage therapist Willard F. Harley, Jr., Ph.D., author of “His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage.” Affirming words let your husband know that you love him. Also include gratitude and appreciation and invitations for physical intimacy.

Names for Your Husband

Many couples have pet names for each other to indicate their love. You might call your husband “the love of your life” or “the man of your dreams.” Loving pet names can describe what he does, such as “Lover Boy” or “Best Buddy.” Some couples also enjoy funny names, such as “Sugar Bear” or “Honey Bunch.” Whatever you call him, he should know that he is number one in your heart. Tell him he’s the one for you in every way possible, especially if you feel that he’s your soul mate or the one who makes you feel treasured as much as he treasures you.

Admire Him

Men need to feel admired by their spouses, according to Harley, so let him know that you love him for his many admirable qualities. Say, “I love you for all the ways you care for me and our family” or “I never doubt you give your very best because you love me as much as I love you.” Compliment him for being a good provider, loving husband and father, thoughtful man and one who tries his best to understand you. Ensure that you add an affectionate hug, kiss or a gentle touch on his face or arm. Your love will come through.

Gratitude and Appreciation

In addition to words of affirmation and admiration, acts of service tell him you love him, according to marriage counselor Gary Chapman, Ph.D., author of “The Five Love Languages” series. Many husbands communicate their love this way, so express thankfulness for his desire to show you love. Snuggle up next to him and let him know he’s tops with you for taking out the trash or bathing the kids while you clean the kitchen. Whisper how loved you feel when he changes the oil in your car or calls to see if he needs to pick up anything on his way home. Return the favor in his love language by ensuring his favorite shirt is clean before he takes off for a game with his buddies or pay attention to hygiene product levels and drop replacements in the bathroom before he runs out.

Spark Romance

For many men, sexual fulfillment is their greatest emotional need, according to Harley. Show him you get it by snuggling up and ask him if he’d like to meet you in the bedroom after the kids are in bed, adding a wink, a wiggled eyebrow or a bright smile. Wear his favorite sexy attire and match him passion for passion, sexy moan for moan. He doesn’t have to understand the words to get the message.


About the Author

Rev. Kathryn Rateliff Barr has taught birth, parenting, vaccinations and alternative medicine classes since 1994. She is a pastoral family counselor and has parented birth, step, adopted and foster children. She holds bachelor's degrees in English and history from Centenary College of Louisiana. Studies include midwifery, naturopathy and other alternative therapies.

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