Whether you've been married for 10 months or 10 years, it's easy for both partners to start taking the relationship for granted. If your husband would rather spend a night at the bar with the boys than an evening cuddling up with you, it’s time to rekindle the love, appreciation and fire in your marriage. Look for ways to capture his attention once again, but don’t be afraid to go to the source and talk it out with your spouse.
A Look Inside
Before choosing your plan of action, take a look at yourself and what might be contributing to your husband's inattention. If you’ve become so boggled down by work and home responsibilities that your idea of romance is sharing a beer on the couch in your sweats, it might be time to make your relationship a priority again. Set aside time for date nights and trying new things together.
Pat on the Back
It’s easy to start taking someone for granted. You don’t do it on purpose, but life gets busy and while you once appreciated your husband’s help and his token gestures of affection, somewhere along the way these things become expected and he quickly feels unappreciated for his efforts. Show your appreciation for your husband’s character again and the things he does for you with something as simple as a note. Leave little love notes and thank-you notes in his shirt pocket or work lunch for him to find throughout the day, suggests the American Psychological Association's article "Can This Marriage Be Saved?" You can buy or make sentimental gifts to remind your hubby you appreciate him or simply remember to say “thank you” every time you notice his effort.
One Hot Mamma
If you’re spending more time in pajamas than skinny jeans and you haven’t brushed your hair since the brush went missing last week, you can rekindle the romance between the two of you by spicing things up a bit, says the AARP's article "New Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life." Dress up occasionally, fill a bubble bath for two, or cover the bed with rose petals. Remember, it isn’t what you have but how you use it. If you’re hiding a few extra inches beneath oversized sweaters, and “lights out” is the only way things happen these days, your husband probably isn’t receiving the message that you’re a strong, sexy and confident woman. Dress to your body shape and show off your curves -- it will get your husband’s attention.
Talk It Out
Making assumptions and trying new things can only go so far in helping to renew your relationship and regain your husband’s attention. To get to the root of the problem, you’ll have to go to the source. Exercise your communication skills in your marriage by broaching the issue with your husband. Use “I” statements rather than “You” phrases so he doesn’t feel like you’re attacking him, but rather raising an issue of concern -- a sign you appreciate the relationship. For example, “I would like there to be more romance in our marriage,” rather than, “You are never romantic anymore.” Encourage him to share his feelings, but be careful not to be judgmental -- a sure-fire way to get him to shut down fast.
Rosenya Faith has been working with children since the age of 16 as a swimming instructor and dance instructor. For more than 14 years she has worked as a recreation and skill development leader, an early childhood educator and a teaching assistant, working in elementary schools and with special needs children between 4 and 11 years of age.