How to Make Someone Like You

by Sandra Penn

Whether you’re looking for a romantic relationship or a friendship, making someone like you takes effort, even for people with lots of friends. Making someone like you can seem intimidating, but it shouldn’t be. That other person may be intimidated by you, too, so a large part of being likable is simply letting the other person know that you like her. If you are too scared to reach out to someone, your fear may come off as rejection and you may seem like a snob. Be nice and approachable.

Step 1

Smile. Smiles are contagious because everyone likes to be in a good mood. By smiling, you seem happy and easy to get along with.

Step 2

Stand up straight. According to Pete Grand, author of “How to Overcome Shyness,” slouching can make you seem as though you have low self-esteem. If you don’t seem to like yourself, nobody else will want to either.

Step 3

Make eye contact. Eye contact helps you connect with another person by letting her know you are listening and that you care about what she is saying. Eye contact can even serve as a silent acknowledgment of agreement or an inside joke. Don’t overdo this, as staring at someone can make him uncomfortable.

Step 4

Use that person’s name often when speaking to him. Dale Carnegie, author of “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” says “a man’s name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

Step 5

Listen to that person and encourage her to talk. When she does, be genuinely interested in what she has to say. If you disagree with her, be honest but do not criticize or complain. Make her feel like you are eager to hear about her and respect her opinions.

Step 6

Ask insightful questions based on information you learned while listening. Generic questions about the weather don’t let either one of you learn anything about the other.

Step 7

Look for a common interest, and then use that to further your friendship. For example, if you love sailing and find out that the other person loves sailing, too, make a date to go sailing together.

Step 8

Be nice. This may seem obvious, but think about your behavior honestly and try to define yourself. Specific definitions of the word “nice” are subjective, but define yours and try to match that.

Tips

  • Ask your current friends to be honest with you regarding your own strengths and weaknesses. Their feedback can help you be more approachable and easy to like.

    Accept yourself for who you are. If one person doesn't like you for whatever reason, don't let that define you.

References (2)

About the Author

Sandra Penn has been a freelance writer since 2006. After earning a B.A. in cinema and television from the University of Southern California, Penn went on to work as an executive in Hollywood.