How to Have a Maid of Honor and a Matron of Honor

by Goody Clairenstein ; Updated September 28, 2017

A maid and matron of honor for your wedding can split up their planning duties.

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Having a maid of honor and a matron of honor in your wedding party might not be typical, but it's also not difficult. If there are two women you feel you must grant this honor, it might be appropriate to make arrangements to include both in your wedding. Traditionally, the maid of honor and the matron of honor can provide much-needed help in the wedding planning, so make sure each woman is aware of her role.

Let your potential maid and matron of honor know you would like them to both be in your wedding party. A maid of honor is unmarried; a matron of honor is married. If the two women already are good friends, that can make including both in your party an excellent idea for organizational purposes. Once they accept, you can include them in the planning process.

Give your maid of honor and matron of honor a list of specific tasks if they have expressed a willingness to help you with the planning. Hopefully, they have done this in advance so you won't have to impose. Remember, however, that asking them to be included in your wedding party does not mean they must help with the planning process; it should be an honor for you that they accept your offer and want to show their love and support for you on your wedding day. One of the traditional responsibilities of the maid/matron of honor is planning and coordinating the bridal shower. This task can easily be split between two people: ask your maid of honor to pick the venue, your matron of honor to set up the guest list, and so on.

Coordinate your planning process with the maid and matron of honor if they will be assisting with the wedding planning. If the two women know one another, they might wish to collaborate or divide tasks between themselves to be more efficient. Make sure they know the deadlines of the different vendors you are be working with, such as stationers, bakers and decorators.

Honor your maid and matron of honor on your wedding day. Make sure you acknowledge their contributions to the wedding planning and how important they are to you as friends or members of your family. Include this acknowledgment on the wedding program if you are printing one, and make a verbal announcement letting the wedding guests know about their generous help and assistance.

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About the Author

Goody Clairenstein has been a writer since 2004. She has sat on the editorial board of several non-academic journals and writes about creative writing, editing and languages. She has worked in professional publishing and news reporting in print and broadcast journalism. Her poems have appeared in "Small Craft Warnings." Clairenstein earned her Bachelor of Arts in European languages from Skidmore College.