How to Deal With Different Levels of Affection in a Marriage

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If you approach different levels of affection in marriage in a proactive manner, your marital relationship will be a "school of love.” There are many reasons why your spouse may show a higher or lower level of affection than yourself, including the quality of your attachment styles, communication, individual coping skills, and health status. The habit of affection can help your attachment to each other become more secure and improve coping behaviors and physical and emotional health.

Step 1

Love the practical ways that your spouse shows affection. A study in the November 2012 edition of "Personality and Social Psychology" identified that men often demonstrate caring by initiating sex, sharing leisure activities, or doing household work with their wives. Women often show caring by being positive and toning down their antagonistic behaviors.

Step 2

Smooch often. Romantic kissing more often was demonstrated to increase relationship satisfaction and decrease both stress and cholesterol levels according to a study published in the April-June issue of "Western Journal of Communication"

Step 3

Pursue your spouse for leisure and companionship. Research in the May edition of "Journal of Personality and Social Psychology" demonstrated that the more men and women pursue each other, the higher their sexual desire for each other.

Step 4

Care for your spouse's needs without expecting to be rewarded. An article in the May 2013 edition of "Social Psychology and Personality Science" reported that people who care for their partner's needs without expecting immediate returns had more sexual desire at both the beginning and end of a four-month study than those who expected a reward for caring.

Step 5

Express gratitude. Expressing gratitude to your partner can improve your spouse's appreciation of you as well as his or her openness in communicating with you, according to research published in the April 2010 edition of Psychological Science .